He’s always wore sketchers. Like since he was 4. Recently, he got really emotionally taking about shoes he wanted for middle school. He said if he doesn’t get Nikes he’s going to get teased. Great fucking marketing work Nike.

    • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      Bullying like that can be extremely traumatic for kids. Yeah it’s a shit situation, but I understand why they wouldn’t want to deal with it. kids are generally shitty people in middle school and use any excuse to bully each other. You basically have 3 choices 1) give in and get the thing, 2) let them get bullied for the rest of middle school, 3) harden them to the point where the other kids are fucking terrified of them.

      • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        As if parents and schools can’t intervene.
        Shouldn’t those 2 groups specificallybe trying to educate children to do better?

        • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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          17 days ago

          I always find anti bullying measures kind of a waste of time. Adults will bully you way more, it just isn’t a swirly.

          it’s making you fill out an application on a job prospects website even though the info is on the resume.

          It’s every month when we pay rent.

          It’s every paycheck we receive that doesn’t include our surplus labor value.

          It’s a overdraft fee from your bank.

          It’s ComcastXfinity purchasing your local government and ensuring you have no alternatives for an ISP.

          It’s the “unprecedented call volume” you wait through that happens because the customer service phone line is purposely understaffed.

          It’s your health insurance denying your claim.

          It’s everywhere. Just because we hide it behind a curtain of the economic system doesn’t mean it changes the nature of these interactions.

          If you want your kid to be successful, they should be a bully. Bullies are successful as fuck. Every parent should be teaching their child to be the biggest asshole douchebag bully ever.

        • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world
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          17 days ago

          It doesn’t really matter if the schools do. And the bully’s parents are where they get it from. Kids don’t care about branding unless they’re instructed to do so by their families. I was bullied by a guy for years at school. Several adults tried to intervene, but it only stopped after I embedded a knife in the wall next to his head from across the room. Bullies like a reaction unless they think there’s a legitimate chance you’ll snap and murder them. Unfortunately that’s not advice you can pass to your children.

          • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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            17 days ago

            I believe there’s plenty that can be done.
            And it may get the kids to react.
            Maybe not with a knife but bullies aren’t generally very tough anyway when confronted.

    • JigglySackles@lemmy.world
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      16 days ago

      Why would they be a shit parent for doing something so simple? The shoes aren’t that much more expensive unless they are talking like some limited edition nonsense. They don’t need to go that far, but just getting some brand name thing to avoid bullying is an easy thing.

      Sounds like you’d be a shit parent if you had kids. “I can’t be arsed to help stop your getting bullied because it costs me a few dollars more.”

      Certainly there are other lessons to be had here about standing up for oneself and not letting peer pressure dictate your life, but spending a few dollars for brand name sneakers is not something to call people shit parents over.

          • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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            16 days ago

            dumb ass americunts are pathetic.
            This slave attitude is what got you into a fascist state. And you fully deserve it.
            Subservient, weak pacified pussies, bending over at any time, punching down to keep yourself in a little less shitty position.
            Despicable, I’m glad your shithole is going down the shitter, the world will watch it it with joy.
            You won’t be missed.

    • Bob Robertson IX @discuss.tchncs.de
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      16 days ago

      Nah, you pick your battles. If the kid wants Nikes because that’s what everyone else has, then get him Nikes. I heard 10 years ago that Sketchers are for toddlers and old people… and from what I’ve seen that perception hasn’t changed.

      Like it or not, we are social animals and fitting in is important, especially for children. When my daughter was a toddler we made it a point to NOT expose her to Paw Patrol because it is just blatant targeted marketing to children. It was a point of pride for us to be able to walk past Paw Patrol branded apple sauce and not have her begging for it. And then we sent her to preschool and after the first week she came home sad that all the other kids were playing Paw Patrol but she didn’t know any of the characters, so she couldn’t play. That was a real shitty day for me as a parent because that was my failing. We started letting her watch Paw Patrol (as well as other non-PBS kids shows) because pop culture is important. Same with fashion… not every kid needs to wear Nike, but they should be aware of what the trends are and have a say in what they get.

      • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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        16 days ago

        IDC about your BS explnation.
        I despise people like you.
        You are a weak consumer slave keeping these horrible practices alive by being weak and giving in.
        I have no sympathy for your slave mentality.
        You should be ashamed.
        You are all that is wrong with the world.

      • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        Who knows if it’s true. Kids can lie/exaggerate when they want stuff.
        If it is true then wtf kind of school is this? I would go have a talk.
        What if some other parent couldn’t afford them? Will he let his kid join the mob mentality and bully him?
        This goes further than shoes.
        Just buying the stuff to get done with it and letting this toxic environment fester is def not the right move.
        But fuck it, I’m not raising his kid.

        • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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          16 days ago

          I remember being a target of bullying in middle school. I specifically lobbied the school for months to get an alternative to recess because that’s when the worst of the bullying occurred. I was finally given permission to just chill in an empty classroom during that time and it was a significant improvement.

          If spending a bit more on shoes helps give the kid some confidence it seems like a reasonable step to take. Maybe the kid will learn it was never about the shoes to begin with.

          The fact is, middle school fucking sucks and the most parents can do is try to help their kids survive however they can. I still remember what one parent said to me once “middle school is the lowest circle of hell” and it was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment

          • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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            16 days ago

            So don’t adress the problem but give in, right.
            And fuck the ones who can’t afford those shoes and get bullied.
            You’re part of the problem, disgusting to hear that

        • HereIAm@lemmy.world
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          16 days ago

          If you think social bullying like this is some kind of rare thing I got some terrible news for you.

          It goes far beyond just having pricey clothing, kids these days are bullied for not spending money in Fortnite. https://partner.sciencenorway.no/bullying-children-and-adolescents-computer-games/fear-being-bullied-children-pay-to-become-popular-in-video-games/2307469

          It’s bad, even in countries like the UK where they have dress codes to try and address it, you’ll still he picked in for not having the right accessories.

          • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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            16 days ago

            It’s not rare, never said that.
            My point is you should do something about it, not give in like this AH.
            He is part of the problem pushing the problems to kids ho can’t afford it.
            Fuck them. WTF is with all these egocentric comments?

      • pleaaaaaze@lemmings.world
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        17 days ago

        For not wanting kids to grow up as shallow marketing simps?

        Let me guess, you wear expensive shoes don’t ya

        • Wazowski@lemmy.world
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          17 days ago

          I grew up with a tenuous grasp on the middle class and generally don’t buy much premium shit, despite being able to afford a life of luxury. My most expensive shoes are a $100 pair I wear with a suit. The shoes I wear most days are $25. You’re just an asshole, is all.

          • pleaaaaaze@lemmings.world
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            17 days ago

            I’m the asshole? Lmao you Litterally think bullying is all right and normal

            Fighting one bully at a time by wearing the shoes they want you to wear /s

            • Wazowski@lemmy.world
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              17 days ago

              You’re the asshole for passing judgement on people who are trying to protect their kids from circumstances that are unknown to you.

          • Bloomcole@lemmy.world
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            17 days ago

            Yes, not giving in to toxic bullying for having less money makes you an asshole, right.
            What if another parent doesn’t even have the choice to give in bcs they can’t afford it? too bad for the kid right?
            You’re the POS here.

    • Bazoogle@lemmy.world
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      18 days ago

      Nike doesn’t sell proprietary shoe laces that only work with nike shoes. Or sell gloves that pair with the shoes, so if you wanted to switch shoes you’d also have to get new gloves. Apple is awful for very different reasons

  • NABDad@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    I always knew shoes weren’t going to save my kids from bullying, so I got them karate instead.

    The bullying still happened, until they decided it was time for it to stop. Then it stopped.

      • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
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        17 days ago

        Every serious bullying incident I ran into growing up ended when a kid got popped in the mouth. Every unserious bullying incident made no impact when I knew if it got serious, I could pop them in the mouth and likely come out on top.

        I’ve met way too many adults with personality issues that were a product of adults telling child them “physical violence is always wrong, just tell an adult, be the bigger person” etc. It always needs to be taught as a last resort, and it needs to be understood that even justified violence comes with consequences and other tools must be used first, but when you’ve done everything you’re supposed to and no one is helping to the resolve the problem, sometimes you have to do it yourself.

        It ain’t pretty, and it ain’t ideal, but it’s the way it is.

      • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        17 days ago

        until they decided it was time for it to stop. Then it stopped.

        Self defense against verbal harrassment.

        • GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca
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          17 days ago

          Yeah, the good news is no one has ever suffered permanent damage from verbal abuse, so no problems, right?

          And why is physical violence no-tolerance (except when it isn’t) but verbal violence is a-okay?

          I’m not saying physical violence is okay, and I never have. In fact, I generally go the other direction, saying that physical violence should be a last resort for solving problems, and that those who use it clearly don’t have better tools to solve their problems. And know which groups is known for not having a lot of experience solving problems? Kids. That’s why we have adults supervising them. And training those kids that verbal violence is okay, and a great way to harass your peers, is, to put it bluntly, pretty fucking stupid. And some of those kids learn that a suspension isn’t that big a deal to some of the kids they bully, which is a hell of a lot better lesson than the adults around them were teaching them.

        • NABDad@lemmy.world
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          17 days ago

          Oldest was told every day he was going to be murdered while walking home. That continued until he dropped his bag and told his bully, “today’s the day, put up or shut up.”

          Youngest was blocking a bully to give her friends a chance to get away. He tried to kick her and got the karate demonstration he was asking for.

          Middle child was harassed and mocked for five years from Middle School through high school. He spent years begging them to stop, because he didn’t want to hurt them. He finally told his bully he wasn’t going to put up with it anymore and warned him that if he said another word, he was going to punch him in the face. The bully opened his mouth once more, and my son closed it. No one ever said anything again.

          Teachers did nothing. Schools did nothing.

          Here is the quote they recited in every karate class:

          “I come to you with only Karate, Empty Hands. I have no weapons, but should I be forced to defend myself, my principles or my honor, should it be a matter of life or death, of right or wrong, then here are my weapons, Karate, my Empty Hands.”

          — Ed Parker

          I see no conflict between the teachings and their actions. They have a right to defend themselves against harassment, and if asking for it to stop doesn’t work, escalation is necessary. All the bullies had the opportunity to just walk away. Some took it, some didn’t.

    • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
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      18 days ago

      I don’t have kids, but I do have a brother who is young enough to be my child, and I was very happy when he broke the nose of his bully.

      That motherfucker had to learn.

      • NABDad@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        There was some anxiety on my part when my middle child told me he punched his bully in the high school cafeteria. I had felt his punches through a heavy-duty punching shield, and I assumed it would lead to criminal or civil cases. However, when I asked if the bully was ok, he said he pulled the punch.

  • Allemaniac@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    dont blame nike, blame the over-consumption introduced by unchecked capitalism. Comparing yourself to your surround has become the norm, leading to an increase in depression and, like you wrote, consuming too much. Americans on average buy 68 new clothing items PER YEAR, PER PERSON!! Maybe dont blame the kids, they are a product of their surrounding. Blame politics, and blame yourself if you have done too little politics in the last decades

    • porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml
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      18 days ago

      Do blame Nike, and all the other corps, they are the ones who force capitalism on us, they are the cause of this behaviour, they control the politics.

  • hawgietonight@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    Pre-teen is the worst age for this. Just try to get your kid past this the best you can. Happens everywhere, eventually they will mature and learn.

    Heck, this is always the plot in school movies.

  • IsThisAnAI@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    Yeah this is a Nike problem and not something that’s been going on since the beginning of formalized group education.

  • Truffle@lemmy.ml
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    18 days ago

    Good for you. Whenever I get this kind of situation with ny kid I think “Will this matter in five years? Will this purchase break the bank?” If not, I buy/allow/rent whatever and move on. It usually does the trick and I don’t mind if in my mind it sounds ridiculous or exaggerated, It is not about me but whatever they are going through and as long as they get the tools they need, so be it. Kid is very down to earth and doesn’t usually overconsume. The only place where we overspend is the bookstore.

    • Bazoogle@lemmy.world
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      18 days ago

      Kid could toughen up a bit. Having your shoes made fun of is such a small insignificant thing. It’s probably one of the best options out there, given it’s not actually even about you. I can guarantee if the kid did not react to the teasing, they would find someone else to pick on. Who seriously cares about shoes?

      • skulblaka@sh.itjust.works
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        17 days ago

        Kids do.

        Their problems are smaller than us adults’, but they feel those problems with the same intensity we do. Being ostracized from your social group is a big problem even for adults. It’s worse for kids.

        And kids, being kids, will bandwagon the hell out of anything. If somebody clowns on your shoes every day, give it a week and half the school will be doing it. Give it a year and you’re “that guy with the shoes”.

        Is your brand of shoes important in the long term? No, not at all. Your social status in high school also, largely, doesn’t matter in the long term. But “the long term” is difficult to keep your eye on when you’re looking at 4-8 years of pointless bullying in your future.

        All this to say - yeah I think this is pretty dumb, but it’s important to the people who are living it. And something that’s important to a child should also be important to their parents, in my opinion. I was the kid with the ratty shoes and the hand-me-downs. That stuff can really do some permanent damage to a kid’s psyche.

        Does this mean that every middle schooler needs to have a fresh set of Jordan’s and a fitted suit every year? No, of course not. But if I can spend an extra $50 once every two years to make my son happy then why wouldn’t I?

          • Bazoogle@lemmy.world
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            17 days ago

            As I already said in my other response, it’s really about the developing child. Jonathan Haidt’s books “The Coddling of the American Mind” and “The Anxious Generation” both talk about the idea of over protectionism. You cannot deny that buy expensive shoes they will inevitably grow out of to avoid some light teasing from the school boys is over protecting them. They should be tough enough to handle comments about the fact they don’t have expensive shoes. If they aren’t, that’s a great parenting moment to help them work through those feelings and how to better handle the social situations.

        • Bazoogle@lemmy.world
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          17 days ago

          The goal of childhood is to prepare you for adulthood. It is better to be teased as a developing child, especially for something trivial, and be a well rounded adult. Children have to figure out how to navigate difficult social situations themselves, rather than simply avoiding them. It is becoming increasingly problematic when kids aren’t working things out amongst themselves, or at the very least putting up with it, and instead resort to having an adult fix it for them. If they learn they can always go to an adult to fix their problems, they are being prepared for an authoritarian government. The solution to their problems is a higher power that will fix things for them. This is not quite the same, but it is avoiding difficult confrontation over something as trivial as shoes.

          I do think kids should also have the freedom to choose their own shoes. If you give them a budget, and they can find Nike shoes in that budget, good on them. Maybe they even keep an eye on them going on sale. But if they cannot find shoes within the budget, they will have to settle for what they like within their price range. Which is also a valuable lesson for a developing teen.

          they feel those problems with the same intensity we do

          We cannot protect kids from big feelings. It is vital they experience big feelings. It’s becoming increasingly problematic with over protectionism and treating children as fragile beings. It’s caused higher levels of anxiety and reduced social skills. While you may say them not having name brand shoes will lead to anxiety, if they are always given a way out of their easy to handle middle school problems, how are they going to be prepared for adulthood problems, or the countless other things out of their control. They need to experience the anxiety and learn how to handle it in healthy ways.

          something that’s important to a child should also be important to their parents, in my opinion

          I get where you’re coming from, but that cannot be universally true (and I think you would agree). A child wanting every toy they ever see, no matter how important to them, obviously is not going to be important to you as a parent. If a teen thinks it’s important everyone they meet loves them, you cannot encourage extreme people pleasing. No kid “needs” name brand shoes. That is very distinctly a want. Perhaps they do some extra chores to earn their more expensive shoes, so you are all happy. But simply giving them expensive shoes they will inevitably grow out of because of a few comments from some school bullies is not a big problem. It is a little problem. Kids can handle little problems without adult intervention.

    • AreaSIX @lemmy.zip
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      18 days ago

      Is that why Apple has got the US by the balls because people want to avoid the dreaded green bubble in iMessage? I’m not from the US so that might be me misunderstanding the situation, but I’ve been told that even many adults in the US view that as a valid reason to avoid anything that’s not an iphone, because of some social stigma attached to the green bubble.

      • AA5B@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        As an American I’m still not convinced.

        Apple successfully sold themselves as a better choice, the “in”thing - to adults. Most adults I know have iPhones and the ones who don’t seem self-conscious about it. It might have partly to do with Android phones originally sold as the budget alternative. We’re the shallow ones.

        Kids can take their cues from adults: they see iPhones as the “better”, more desired choice. But also take it to the next level, with teasing and bullying.

        I find it hard to believe anyone cares about the color of text bubbles, especially since kids don’t use iMessage, despite all the media making that claim. It’s just an excuse, but the social stigma is real

      • RedPostItNote@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        You can call it social stigma but it’s really just that there’s more you can do when texting someone else with an apple phone. A lot of the time the same messaging has a totally different vibe than when both people are on iPhones. Things can be lost in context etc.

        • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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          17 days ago

          Some of that has disappeared with RCS support, fortunately.

          But yes, Apple successfully positioned their texting app as a rich formatted chat app when used between iPhone users, behaving more like WhatsApp or KakaoTalk or other chat apps than like traditional texting. But when messaging people without iPhones, it was just standard texting (worse, since they would degrade the quality of MMS images more than necessary, as I understand). To the uninformed, this seemed like everyone else were the ones lagging behind. “How could your phone be any good? Images you send are terrible. I can’t name chats that have you in it. If I react to your messages it spams the group chat.” Etc.

          Brilliant, but absolutely evil, move by Apple. Unfortunately it worked. The only reason I use an iPhone today is that years ago I got tired of being left out of conversations and media sharing by my family and my wife’s family, who all use iPhones. So when my OnePlus 7T Pro 5G McLaren Edition died an early, watery death (rest in peace, king among phones) and nothing else really wowed me in the Android space at the time, I bit the bullet and went to the dark side. I enjoy the iPhone, but I’m still bitter about why I got it.

      • Novaling@lemmy.zip
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        14 days ago

        Green bubble shaming is real and I felt it in middle school but more so in highschool from my own softball team. Hated that shit, but I loved my Moto g7 play so those bitches can fuck themselves.

    • SphereofWreckening@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      It’s both. Kids suck and can be clique-like over the dumbest things. But these corporations also realize the amount they can make when their brand is a “status symbol”, and they purposely market around that.

    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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      18 days ago

      When I was a kid, there was a phase where everyone was obsessed with red flannel. Went on for like 3 months.

      Imagine a pro dominantly black/Latino school in the hood where we’re all dressing up like Al Borland from Home Improvement.

    • Maeve@kbin.earth
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      17 days ago

      Because they learn from their families, usually. I remember the uppercrust side of my family kicking dirt from a family member’s grave onto his second wife’s grave. So classy.

  • lime!@feddit.nu
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    18 days ago

    man, when i was a kid i was bullied for reading at recess, or infodumping about inappropriate stuff, or being bad at running. kids these days are so materialist.

  • rumba@lemmy.zip
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    18 days ago

    I got teased for my shoes. I got better shoes, I got teased for my jacket, I got a better jacket. So then they just made shit up to tease me about.

    I saw the fucker that bullied me relentlessly for all three years in middle school about 10 years later. He was pounding stakes in the ground setting up for a carnival. He stopped me in apologized which was kind of surprising. I gave him an absolutely hollow but convincing thanks and what about my day.

    I did a little light internet stalking, turns out he’s vocal that can’t keep a job, construction companies fire him for “no reason” and he’s now down to whatever local company will hire him for physical labor. The only truly sad part is he has multiple children with multiple women and will not own up to any of them.

    Though, I really suppose I owe a lot of who I am to the hell he put me through. Insults mean fuck all to me and I can ignore stress in a bad situation and make solid decisions.

    • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      My grade school bully is serving life in prison for attempted double homicide. IIRC he’s also a sex offender.

      Obviously the decisions he made as an adult are his responsibility, but honestly I feel bad for him. He didn’t have much of a chance. His home life was terrible, and he took it out on those around him. He had no positive role models in his daily life besides those at his school, who were always punishing him because he couldn’t conform to a world utterly foreign to his own where people weren’t constantly shitty to one another, and the school didn’t have any better idea how to handle him. The kid had no support. His father was in and out of jail/prison, his mother was overwhelmed. He fell through the cracks.

      It’s no surprise he turned out a piece of shit.

      That doesn’t excuse his actions. Plenty of people come from difficult origins and are good people leading decent lives.

      But I do pity him.

  • Auth@lemmy.world
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    16 days ago

    My school everyone wore the same uniform. The only choice we could make was shoes or sandals 99.9% chose shoes. Sandal wearers got so much shit for it. It was a death sentence.

  • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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    16 days ago

    Kids are very materialistic.

    When I was in middle school, I was probably the worst for me with the bullying. I came from a family that didn’t have a whole lot of money. Like even the cheap stuff we had to cut corners with. And well I was fully aware, that there was no real difference between what I had and what they had, it didn’t stop the consistent bullying. And the teachers never cared. The other students didn’t care in fact some of them would chime in too. And when that’s your life for several hours a day 5 days a week… You eventually just get to a breaking point.

    I’ll never forget the day I basically had a complete emotional breakdown because we were doing back to school shopping at Target, and I saw one of those trapper keepers. With a weird designs on the outside. They were all the rage. And it was like eight bucks I think. My mom did end up buying it for me, but only because her soon-to-be 5th grader, collapsed in the isle crying. I don’t remember what I told her, but all I could think about was having that was going to make life just a little bit easier for me.

    Kids can be real assholes to other kids.