I don’t know why, but I always have this mental image of people who identify as male/masculine to just have their living spaces look like a dumpster (okay maybe its a bit hyperbole, not a literal dumpster, but you know what I mean), while people who identify as female/feminine to be extra tidy? (Perhaps its mainstream media’s portrayal affecting my subconscious?) Is this actually true?

Sorry if this sounds offensive, I don’t mean it that way.

  • Vanth@reddthat.comEnglish
    0·
    14 days ago

    I’m in my 30s. My parents raised us with old-timey gender roles, expecting the girls to cook and clean and the boys to, idk, get used to being served?

    It did neither side any favors. One brother had some very difficult lessons to learn when a way-out-of-his-league girlfriend told him what’s what. They’re married now and he’s pretty candid about how bullshit those gender roles were and how he’d never setup a son for failure by not teaching them basic life skills of cleaning and feeding themselves, nor teach a daughter she has to shoulder it all.

    Finding myself in a relationship with a man who plays weaponized incompetence games to manipulate me into traditional gender roles is my nightmare. I got taken advantage of in some of my earliest relationships and I now attempt to vet for it better up front. I can say there are certainly still men who don’t think it’s their job to clean, but I think it’s better with each generation.

    IDK if women are any better, we might need a 50/50 bi person for their perspective.

    • saltesc@lemmy.world
      0·
      14 days ago

      Women are just as bad. It’s not a gender thing, though there are the old stereotypes you mentioned

      My experience is women are very unclean if they don’t think it will be noticed or on display. Cleaning is more for appearances with little influence from hygiene or being organised. Men seem to do it out of necessity only, it’s not the bare minimum, but the state of something can be left longer, like a pile of clothes not being big enough to deal with yet. But there are those that can’t survive without their mothers.