I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters, I mean it’s probably a testament to the writers but I overthink… a lot.
This question was bright on as I’ve been catching up on The Blacklist and at lunch today watching Season 8 Episode name “Anne “ and it wrecked me.
Tap for spoiler
Basically the main character Red has to live a guarded life and for once he let it form and got close to Anne and you could tell shit was going to go downhill and it destroyed me when you think about it from his or her perspective.
For reference I’m 41 year old dude, not that it matters.
Edit: Bedtime for me but back tomorrow to reply to all.
Edit 2: I’ve got 41 comments to respond to. Currently working but I’ll be back y’all.
Cried? Never. But I’ve sometimes felt bad for them.
I can only cry for myself.
I do. 25M. For movies, lyrics, stories… Can be most casual things for most people. But I detected some special meaning and I have tears in my eyes. I for some reason got more and more emotional since I was 18. Not sure why though. I hope anyone has some kind of ideas.
I find this strange since I do not consider myself very empatic. And I also consider word empathy cringe since it is often misused to demonize political opponents.
Yeah lyrics is another one I forgot to mention. It’s shocking how many people listen to songs but they don’t listen to the words.
I too am intrigued as to why it seems to have made you more emotional since 18 and hope we get some good responses here.
Interesting that you don’t consider yourself empathetic as I think I have too much at times and it’s a detriment to my own wellbeing.
Sounds like a right freak saying I have too much empathy but I didn’t know how to word it. I guess too much relative to the people I grew up with and my family, that sounds better.
I think I can enable or disable my empathy. I could say cold hearted to a person to stop crying and do the right thing. I could even hit a child as a punishment if that were any useful. and give them a better life because of that (it does not work, so I won’t). I am not sure if that even is the real definition of empathy.
But this feeling cannot be empathy since it is does not have to involve relating to another being. It could be some deep and meaningful idea or point or moral of a story. Those usually get me the most.
I’m a dude in his 40s. If anything, I’ve gotten more empathetic and easily moved over the years. I have cried at movies and over books.
Same. For the longest time I was made to believe that crying in front of people was weak. Especially, when those tears came from entertainment. Then I watched Schindler’s List and bawled like a fucking baby at the end when…
Tap for spoiler
Schindler starts pointing out all the possessions he still had, which he could have bartered to save more Jews and the overwhelming support from the ones he did save comforting him.
It fundamentally changed who I was and what I was willing to show emotion for, especially empathy. I found that any movie based on actual events, that ended tragically, would illicit a similar response.
It was only after years of therapy and the support of wonderful people in my life that I learned to feel that deeply for any media with resonating characters. Elon said empathy is a human weakness, but he’s never been so wrong. It’s the only thing that binds us together.
Yea man, count me in as shedding the occasional tear due to story drama
Yes, but very rarely. Most stories just don’t affect me that way.
Am 41 y/o dude not that it matters
It does matter because a 41 y/o dude is also allowed to have and express emotions.
The one scene in Lion King hits harder without James Earl Jones on this planet anymore.
I cry watching space rockets launching.
I cry (or at least feel a very strong impulse to cry) from good stories all the time. If the stories you’re partaking of aren’t making you feel something, then I feel as though they’re a waste of time and not really well written.
I agree, but I think sometimes it’s fine to just want to consume something bland to just chill.
I get teary eyed, but I rarely cry. “The penguin of my life” was my last big challenge, so mean. Great movie though.
And yes, at some point you really want Red to have his little piece of heaven.
I think I am more open for this since I’m older (40s), when I was young I would’ve never let myself be that open.
Me, and yes it’s normal to have an emotional reaction to media. You want a good cry? Watch Violet Evergarden. That shit’ll wreck you.
Not usually but after having kids and getting older more things affect me. Certain episodes of Bluey I have to not my lip through and basically every Pixar movie.
My memory sucks so can’t remember much, but:
The Hunger Games (1) when
Major Spoilers btw
Rue died and Katniss was honoring her, and did the District 12 salute and the scene cuts to District 11 start doing it, then the whole riot scene and it just reminds me of so much of the injustice and tyranny of the world… I just can’t stop crying. I wished we have some of the District 12 - District 11 Solidarity IRL.
I actually remember when, as a kid, I rarely cried about fictional stories, or something even bad events IRL.
But once I go through the existential crisis at 18, I started to actually feel stories, like actually feeling it. I ser deaths, injustice, and tyranny. The “veil of innocence”, as I call it, completely shattered. The world isn’t beautiful, its hell, its horror.
Its actually when you get older, you understand the stories being told.
I feel like there’s a term for it, but I can’t recall it now - it seems like after you have kids, emotional impacts in media can also start to hit a lot harder. I’m not sure if there’s some empathetic response that tends to get strengthened or what, but my wife and I both have things we either can’t watch anymore or don’t process the same way. Like, I decided to start rewatching Star Trek: DS9 a few years ago (a year or two into fatherhood) and got wrecked by the scenes in the first episode where the captain relives losing his wife.
The last episode of season 1 of Bojack still draws a few tears. I remember going into that last scene expecting him to cause some shit and have a big showdown with Diane… but then he just quietly asks for some acknowledgement that he can be good. I think it was the unexpected delivery, but also now how that dialog keeps getting set to lofi contemplative music on youtube that continues to make it feel heartbreaking. The latter is my own fault for clicking shit though.
And books.
If the story and characters are well written and/or acted well enough to pull you in to the story you can certainly feel empathy and other feelings vicariously.
There is plenty of entertainment that does not pull the viewer/reader in, and you don’t particularly get “involved” with them.
I’d be curious what the line is for most people, what draws them in to a story emotionally to make that investment in a fictional character.
