Alright, so my son is friends with a kid at his school, and through this I met his mother. She is a nice woman, who is attractive and friendly. What I do know about her is that she and her husband are separated and/or divorced. I do not know if she is seeing anybody.

I have an unsuccessful history of assuming things with women who are nice to me; i.e., I often confuse being nice with them showing a romantic interest, and that not being the case. Given that my son and her son are best friends, I do not want to make this mistake and make things awkward for anybody. Given my unsuccessful history of reading social cues, I want to be careful in how I interact with her.

I feel like I have three choices right now: I could continue my current course of action, and interact with her when my son and her son get together; I could text her and try to strike up a conversation out of the blue; or I could add her as a Facebook friend and from that angle try to strike up conversation.

I don’t necessarily want to go the “do nothing and hope it works out” approach, but I am not sure if I would make her uncomfortable by being too direct. I’m kind of leaning toward the Facebook option, but I am curious if I should ask her if she’s ok with me requesting to be her friend (and possibly sparking a conversation that way, but letting her know it’s okay to say no if she’s not comfortable with it).

And before anybody says it, yes I’m aware I’m probably overthinking it. 😊

  • Wolf314159@startrek.website
    0·
    16 days ago

    Talk about putting the cart before the horse. Maybe treat her like a real person you’re interested in building a relationship with FIRST. This is going to sound rude, and maybe it is it probably is, but it doesn’t sound like you really care about her. It sounds like you’ve already objectified her and care more about getting a date than getting to know her. Especially given the context of your children’s friendship, if you’re only interested in a relationship with this person because it could be a dating relationship, then you’re not exactly treating her with the kind of grown up dignity she deserves. I don’t think your intentions are really that nefarious (at least I hope they aren’t), but your actions could make it seem that way of you’re not careful.

    Man up and talk to her like a real person you want a real relationship with, whatever form that takes can grow from there if it’s going to be anything real.

    • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      0·
      16 days ago

      That sucks that you’ve jumped to the conclusions you did, especially without even talking to me first. If anybody is putting the cart before the horse, I’d say it’s you.

      I started writing up a long reply to defend myself, but then I realized that you’ve already made up your mind about me. I doubt anything I say would change that opinion. So be it.

      I asked for advice, and you gave it. I will see if there is anything positive to glean from your response and I will see how it fits into my life.

      Regardless, thank you for taking the time to reply to me. And hopefully next time, you’ll not be so ready to rip someone a new one before you take the time to understand them.

      • Wolf314159@startrek.website
        0·
        16 days ago

        I didn’t jump to any conclusions. I made a judgement based on what you’d said. If you’re only here to get pats on the back and validation, I’m truly sorry I misinterpreted your intentions.