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I broke through the exact same situation you had and finished the game beyond what most Hollow Knight players will achieve just so I can legitimately criticise this game that so many people apparently love.
You’ve picked out the exact same mechanic that I also criticise. It wastes the players time and is anti-fun.
I’d also add that the map mechanic is also terrible.
My fun factor increased 10x when I found a hollow knight map online to use that had key locations marked. Ironically it was a very soft touch map that just gave general guidance without too many spoilers and this improved my experience of the game.
I had a terrible time with DAO until I read one thing that helped improve the whole game:
‘Get Wynne’
Once you unlock her character you will actually be able to progress at a reasonable rate without incredible headache allowing you to enjoy more of the story.