I’m sorry that you’ve had experiences that led you to this conclusion :( that’s a lot of bullshit that nobody should go through. You’re a person with your own very valid emotions that should be expressed, not an idea of someone’s “man” that they’ve built up in their heads. Fuck the ones that try to force you into their template.
I don’t have a very diverse dating experience.
I’ve only had a handful of relationships but they were all with decent people, and I’m still friends with all of them - in fact one of them was my best ma’am at my wedding.
The good ones are out there - don’t settle for less and I wish you the best of luck in meeting them.
Wow that’s really shitty, I’m sorry that happened to you. I agree with @[email protected]’s comment, it’s a very attractive trait for a man to express emotions in a healthy way.
I’m sorry. That’s so shitty. I really don’t get women who are like that. The ability to express emotion (in a healthy way) is one of the most attractive traits one can have, imo.
My AMAB (and non-binary, though they didnt realize that until like 9 years into our relationship) partner has cried in front of me COUNTLESS times. Because they’re a fucking human being who has feelings. It’s really not hard to understand if you take even just one moment to empathize.
Views really need to change. We’re all human and crying is a normal human response! Sucks you’re surrounded by people who feel that way 😕 it’s not a weakness at all 🤍
Views do gotta change, but it’s not like crying isn’t showing a weakness. It is showing weakness. The problem is life is a competitive environment where you’re not allowed to compete in any way other than financially where you’re at the same disadvantage as a gambler in a casino.
It’s not a weakness at all, but you seem determined to believe it is. Having healthy coping mechanisms isn’t weak, bring able to process your emotions rather than pushing them aside is healthy and indicates maturity, not vulnerability.
It really isn’t. Having emotions is not weak. Pretending like you don’t is weak. Expressing the emotions you have, processing them, letting them move through you, and moving on productively is not weak, it is strong. Shoving them down and the having them come out in other nonconstructive ways is not strong, it is avoidant. Allowing yourself to have emotions despite the judgement of others does not make you vulnerable, it means you are healthy and self-assured enough to support yourself emotionally.
Anything I do because I have to rather than because I want to is a weakness. A need is a weakness. It’s a vector of attack that I’ve gotta defend. Crying isn’t something I want to do, but is compulsive.
Sure. Though you could argue that needing food, water, and sleep is a sign of weakness, too.
Simply existing automatically comes with these “weaknesses”, so I don’t see the point in assigning them with a negative value, as your perspective seems to. I doubt many people would claim that not drinking water is a sign of strength. Why should crying be any different?
Now, having a mental breakdown because you haven’t allowed yourself to feel your emotions, though? Or lashing out at others because you haven’t learned how to regulate yourself? Now, that’s about as emotionally and mentally weak as you can get.
Not needing to eat would definitely be a huge strength.
Having a pawn attack a square near your king is a weakness. Being an air hockey player should mean that doesn’t matter.
Crying IS the mental breakdown. It’s what you do when you need someone else’s help because you can’t do it yourself(weakness).
The problem here is that people prey on you when they see that weakness, and a civilized society should not do this. The problem here is that we’re developing all of the tools for a civilized society and putting them into the hands of predators. A weakness is only a problem when it’s being exploited. This is why I oppose usage of things that give our predatory “leaders” leverage against us that we can’t escape. Surveillance bad. Censorship bad. Detention bad.
Crying is not a mental breakdown just like laughing is not a mental breakdown. It’s a natural expression of an emotion and it’s healthy - it helps you get rid of cortisol, so you should WANT to cry in appropriate circumstances just like you want to laugh. It’s a natural bodily mechanism that is good for you. You viewing it negatively and as a weakness stems from the toxic approach to these things in the culture you grew up in (and probably still live in, unfortunately).
Not needing to eat would definitely be a huge strength.
Of course not needing to eat would be a strength. There’s a significant difference between that and what I said, though. Not eating when you need to is not the same as not needing to eat at all. There is no choice but to eat if you are to survive, just as there is no choice but to cry when you need to in order to be mentally and emotionally well.
Crying IS the mental breakdown. It’s what you do when you need someone else’s help because you can’t do it yourself(weakness).
I strongly disagree. Crying is only a release of emotion on its own. Just because someone is crying doesn’t inherently mean that they’re having a mental breakdown.
I’m a crier. It’s extremely fucking annoying, but nevertheless a part of me. I weep when I’m sad, stressed, pissed off. On occasion, I even shed happy tears.
Am I having a mental breakdown when I cry while watching a sad movie? When I’m justifiably angry about an injustice in the world or my personal life? Definitely not.
I’ve experienced more than my fair share of real mental breakdowns, but that number is dwarfed by the number of times I’ve cried.
A The problem here is that people prey on you when they see that weakness, and a civilized society should not do this.
While that’s true, it doesn’t change the fact that we need an emotional outlet to be well. Those emotions will be there whether or not you release them when you feel the need to.
If you try to suppress them, you’re more likely to be incapacitated by them—even physically—if they eventually become too much to handle. It’s just postponing a smaller weakness for a larger one later on.
I didn’t say emotions were a weakness. They’re actually a defense mechanism. You kinda describe it like a production line run by robots that you totally can’t stop. Just let them make their products.
Not only do I feel like it’s a terrible idea to show that weakness, but if I actually do it everyone around me will reinforce why I shouldn’t.
Crying in front of a woman has got me dumped a few times, like next-day dumped.
Fuck those people who expect you to have no emotions. Red relationship flag if I ever saw one - they didn’t think of you as a person, just an idea.
One of the most impactful things my wife said to me was “it’s okay to not be okay”.
Ok but that’s like, almost every woman. It’s not just the occasional shithead, it’s a systemic thing.
Basically the opposite in my community
I’m sorry that you’ve had experiences that led you to this conclusion :( that’s a lot of bullshit that nobody should go through. You’re a person with your own very valid emotions that should be expressed, not an idea of someone’s “man” that they’ve built up in their heads. Fuck the ones that try to force you into their template.
I don’t have a very diverse dating experience. I’ve only had a handful of relationships but they were all with decent people, and I’m still friends with all of them - in fact one of them was my best ma’am at my wedding.
The good ones are out there - don’t settle for less and I wish you the best of luck in meeting them.
I’m not gonna stay single forever dude
Wow that’s really shitty, I’m sorry that happened to you. I agree with @[email protected]’s comment, it’s a very attractive trait for a man to express emotions in a healthy way.
I’m sorry. That’s so shitty. I really don’t get women who are like that. The ability to express emotion (in a healthy way) is one of the most attractive traits one can have, imo.
My AMAB (and non-binary, though they didnt realize that until like 9 years into our relationship) partner has cried in front of me COUNTLESS times. Because they’re a fucking human being who has feelings. It’s really not hard to understand if you take even just one moment to empathize.
Your… What?
“Partner”
Likely assigned male at birth
Views really need to change. We’re all human and crying is a normal human response! Sucks you’re surrounded by people who feel that way 😕 it’s not a weakness at all 🤍
Views do gotta change, but it’s not like crying isn’t showing a weakness. It is showing weakness. The problem is life is a competitive environment where you’re not allowed to compete in any way other than financially where you’re at the same disadvantage as a gambler in a casino.
It’s not a weakness at all, but you seem determined to believe it is. Having healthy coping mechanisms isn’t weak, bring able to process your emotions rather than pushing them aside is healthy and indicates maturity, not vulnerability.
I don’t know hope you’re coming to any of your conclusions. What do you think the word weakness means? Also coping.
Don’t know about Troubleinmind, but to me, weakness means inability to cope in a healthy way.
It really isn’t. Having emotions is not weak. Pretending like you don’t is weak. Expressing the emotions you have, processing them, letting them move through you, and moving on productively is not weak, it is strong. Shoving them down and the having them come out in other nonconstructive ways is not strong, it is avoidant. Allowing yourself to have emotions despite the judgement of others does not make you vulnerable, it means you are healthy and self-assured enough to support yourself emotionally.
Anything I do because I have to rather than because I want to is a weakness. A need is a weakness. It’s a vector of attack that I’ve gotta defend. Crying isn’t something I want to do, but is compulsive.
Sure. Though you could argue that needing food, water, and sleep is a sign of weakness, too.
Simply existing automatically comes with these “weaknesses”, so I don’t see the point in assigning them with a negative value, as your perspective seems to. I doubt many people would claim that not drinking water is a sign of strength. Why should crying be any different?
Now, having a mental breakdown because you haven’t allowed yourself to feel your emotions, though? Or lashing out at others because you haven’t learned how to regulate yourself? Now, that’s about as emotionally and mentally weak as you can get.
Not needing to eat would definitely be a huge strength.
Having a pawn attack a square near your king is a weakness. Being an air hockey player should mean that doesn’t matter.
Crying IS the mental breakdown. It’s what you do when you need someone else’s help because you can’t do it yourself(weakness).
The problem here is that people prey on you when they see that weakness, and a civilized society should not do this. The problem here is that we’re developing all of the tools for a civilized society and putting them into the hands of predators. A weakness is only a problem when it’s being exploited. This is why I oppose usage of things that give our predatory “leaders” leverage against us that we can’t escape. Surveillance bad. Censorship bad. Detention bad.
Crying is not a mental breakdown just like laughing is not a mental breakdown. It’s a natural expression of an emotion and it’s healthy - it helps you get rid of cortisol, so you should WANT to cry in appropriate circumstances just like you want to laugh. It’s a natural bodily mechanism that is good for you. You viewing it negatively and as a weakness stems from the toxic approach to these things in the culture you grew up in (and probably still live in, unfortunately).
Of course not needing to eat would be a strength. There’s a significant difference between that and what I said, though. Not eating when you need to is not the same as not needing to eat at all. There is no choice but to eat if you are to survive, just as there is no choice but to cry when you need to in order to be mentally and emotionally well.
I strongly disagree. Crying is only a release of emotion on its own. Just because someone is crying doesn’t inherently mean that they’re having a mental breakdown.
I’m a crier. It’s extremely fucking annoying, but nevertheless a part of me. I weep when I’m sad, stressed, pissed off. On occasion, I even shed happy tears.
Am I having a mental breakdown when I cry while watching a sad movie? When I’m justifiably angry about an injustice in the world or my personal life? Definitely not.
I’ve experienced more than my fair share of real mental breakdowns, but that number is dwarfed by the number of times I’ve cried.
While that’s true, it doesn’t change the fact that we need an emotional outlet to be well. Those emotions will be there whether or not you release them when you feel the need to.
If you try to suppress them, you’re more likely to be incapacitated by them—even physically—if they eventually become too much to handle. It’s just postponing a smaller weakness for a larger one later on.
I didn’t say emotions were a weakness. They’re actually a defense mechanism. You kinda describe it like a production line run by robots that you totally can’t stop. Just let them make their products.