inb4 “if it’s legal it’s not a crime”

  • Jourei@lemm.eeEnglish
    0·
    4 months ago

    Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.

    I’d like to do some proper money laundering but I’d need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn’t an issue, I’d hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.

      • 🔰Hurling⚜️Durling🔱@lemmy.world
        0·
        4 months ago

        If you think billionares have like money in a bank scrooge mcduck style, we’ll I have some sad news for you, they effectively are broke to a normal persons point of view (how much actual cash they have).

        Instead they have their “wealth” as stock ownership of companies, get a loan from a bank for whatever they want to buy, and then just pay it back with the growing value of their stocks, that’s how they don’t pay taxes in the US and still get to buy whatever the fuck they want.

        Basically, something like this. https://youtu.be/t6V9i8fFADI

        • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          Oh, I’m well aware. When I say “Rob Musk” I was thinking of forcing a stock transfer rather than going after his pocket change.

  • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.ukOP
    0·
    4 months ago

    I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country.

    So i’d do that

    • Corngood@lemmy.ml
      0·
      4 months ago

      I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.

      • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.ukOP
        0·
        4 months ago

        tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the converation here

  • demesisx@infosec.pubEnglish
    0·
    4 months ago

    I’d go rob the people that made my entire 20’s and 30’s into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I could’ve used to get out of that contract.

    The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49

      • fishpen0@lemmy.world
        0·
        4 months ago

        I had a loan like this one. Probably a plus loan. For a while the rates for plus loans eclipsed 8% and plus loans accrue interest while you are in school. So if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can take on 4 years of interest before you even start paying. Turns a $20k loan into a $30k loan before you even graduate. Plus loans recapitalize interest whenever they come out of deferral so you actually pay interest on the interest as well. So by the time you pay the loan off that is then $41k in total payments for what was originally a 20k loan

        Do this 4 times for each year of undergrad and you’ll have 164000 in total loan payments over your lifetime.

        Plus loans are a government backed scam to fuck over poor kids who can’t front the cash for what the federal aid program covers. My base grants were only ~40k over 4 years and my federal unsubsidized and subsidized loans only were ~24k over 4 years.

        Meanwhile the prestigious university I was accepted to charged 24k per semester. So I had 64k of aid and low interest loans to pay a tuition of 192k. After my work study added an additional 20k/yr I was still short 48k and poof there the plus loans were to “help” me.

      • demesisx@infosec.pubEnglish
        0·
        4 months ago

        It was the CitiAssist.

        It had to be a private student loan because my parents made slightly over the max to qualify to public loans even though they refused to pay for school. That left me with loans with insane interest rates. Most of what I had to borrow was to cover $150k to pay rent in the college town I lived in while attending school.

        Then, Joe Biden wrote the bankruptcy protection bill, making it impossible for students to disburse their student loans in bankruptcy two years after I graduated. They also refused to allow me to consolidate 8 loans which all had monthly payments that were each intentionally calculated as if it was the only loan I had to pay. Then my loans got bought and moved around and are now owned by Trellis. There’s a lot more to it as well. Housing and healthcare plays a HUGE part.

        TLDR; hyper-commodification of basic human needs like education, housing, healthcare, and food coupled with legislation that sentences those that can’t pay their feudal lord up front to a lifetime of serfdom. (Not to mention my union wages barely keeping pace with inflation).

  • IHave69XiBucks@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    4 months ago

    I would steal a single nuclear icbm and take it to a pizza hut and just leave it there. Just seems like it would cause some interesting conversations.