Turn it into a story about the time you got the opportunity to flip a trolley track switch.
Flip it back and forth as fast as you can and see if you can get it to jack knife
Cause a trolley problem
Very succinct. Though a little outdated in our post-qanon world.
*effect
I was waiting for someone to post this version.
Here’s a real-life version: https://youtu.be/bO-vVzDRHYQ
It rolls, kills all 6 tied up people, and everyone onboard.
JACK KNIFE THAT TROLLEY!!!
sorry for yelling
“Did you just yell ‘America!’ when you pulled the lever?”
“…no…” slowly pushes cheese burger and shotgun under the rug
I mean I would have fun sending it on a little detour, but I worry that if the switch is no properly set at the point where the rails merge back into 1, the trolley might derail. The drawing of that point looks like a mess, too.
Pull lever to wave to trolley
I get to flip a switch and have the trolley take the tiny detour I’ve caused it. Fuck being a tiny, insignificant blip in the endless context of time. I got to pull a god damn lever and make a trolley follows a tiny bump that I’ve caused. I get to ride that joy!
Oops, went a little off the rails about it, though…
Trick question, I throw myself in front of the trolley
If you pull the lever the train takes slightly longer, annoying the people inside.
No, I kidnap some people and tie them to the railroad tracks
It’s like that light switch on my wall that does nothing. But I flip it every time I walk past.
Except a year after I moved in, I got a letter from some woman in Germany that said “knock it off.”
Button X - Turns on Mrs. Schultz’s porch light in Germany. So quit pressing it!
- Earthworm Jim instruction booklet
Reference, or coincidence?
Steven Wright. But I probably messed up the quote.
Married with Children also did it.
Didn’t specifically mention a woman in Germany, though.
Well… if you put it that way, pulling the lever at least gives me something to do in the meantime.
One must imagine niktemadur happy.
Does excessive pulling make one blind?
Depends on what you mean by “blind”?
Nah, that would take, like, effort, man.
Fuck yeah, LETS GOOOOOOOO
