I have a few.
Camera shuttering sounds. I don’t need to hear your camera, dude. Yeah I know most porn is produced and exploited but, don’t need to hit it home doing this. Here is what I don’t get, why not use inexpensive drone cameras to take footage or take shots? Who the fuck needs stupid people doing it?
Cameramen muffled or hearing. I don’t need to hear you either. I don’t give a fuck if you’re enjoying it, just shut the hell up.
Sped-up previews or even sped-up videos because reasons? It just takes me out of the immersion, if there were any to be had.
Exaggerated sounds and moans. “UNNHHH!” “AHHH!!” “HNNN!” “OOOOOO!” slrshrlshlp splsplslspl moist sounds Just fucking mute it. Don’t watch porn for audio.
Seeing that guy in a scene. You know, that awkward fucking guy who is part of the scene who just idly stands there just jerking off all like “nhhn yeah hrrr yeah oh so into this” I want a series of porn videos, where it is just beating that guy down.
All the stupid “step-sis/bro” crap. I don’t need some disgusting back story just get busy.
There’s been an alarming rate of people who are into incest. Like, the lengths they’ll go to try and watch things that consist of actual relatives.
I don’t get it. Well okay, maybe except already inbred cousin-fuckers, but I don’t get how any rational or normal person could be into it.
High Definition video Is the single worst thing to happen to porn. I need a little bit of mystery, who actually wants video fidelity so high you can see every skin tag and ingrown hair?
I mostly dislike professional porn except on the odd occasion. In amateur porn, my biggest gripe is people who clearly did not check the angle or distance of the camera before recording, so 90% of the video is the dude’s thigh moving back and forth.
Even the under-the-balls angle is better. At least I like the balls sometimes.
- Prolonged close-ups and shitty camera angels in general. Do I really need to see 47 seconds of a dick sliding in and out of a pussy in 1080p?
- Seeing how badly porn actresses have aged, it seems you either quit while you’re ahead, or move to Vegas get bolt on tits and lipfillers and gain 20 pounds, there seems to be no in between.
- Blood, I see even the tiniest speck of crimson red on the screen and I’m out.
I’d say everything else is just specific to taste. Something not being my kink doesn’t ruin a video for me, it just doesn’t interest me in the first place.
Actors looking directly into the camera outside of pov shots… like c’mon, who tf wants a fourth wall break in this sort of material?
When the dialogue isn’t getting picked up properly by the mics. Fair enough if it’s indie stuff but if it’s professionally produced, surely they could afford to shell out for a boom mic. Perhaps it’s just a mixing issue. Either way, it’s annoying. Idk, maybe add subs.
Male moans, it’s why when I do watch porn I watch it muted, don’t have this issue with doujins and fics.
Males suck at moaning, they just do.
The number one thing to ruin a porn video is my ejaculating about 10 seconds earlier.
Just the fakeness of it
This. Anything that looks like pro porn actors, high quality expensive filming equipment, “scenes”, etc – all that is instant limp-dick.
The best is when a totally amateur person/couple/group have hi-rez, hi-quality 60 FPS cam and are naturally exhibitionists and sexual freaks.
Support small time pr0n producers! Fight corporatism!
straights,
Like seriously, im not Here for sexism…
- Any kind of anal anything (beyond the mere presence or non-focal visibility of an anus)
- Mirror-selfies where there is an Apple logo visible on the phone
- Duck-face
shouldn’t there be an nsfw tag on this?
Don’t scroll Lemmy at work.
The content is apparent from the title, plus the nsfw tag is only really useful on media imo. Opening a lewd pic on the bus because it wasn’t tagged is not the same thing as opening a text thread
you don’t know where they work
Fun fact:
Back during the dotcom boom I met a guy in San Francisco who worked fixing bugs in Netscape’s rendering engine.
He said ~80% of the problem reports were from porn sites complaining that their page didn’t work properly in NS but worked fine in IE.
So yeah he spent all day on porn sites, making them better for the rest of us.
True hero.
Removed by mod
fucking hell you can tell this person has never had sex, who the hell wants to have hair in their mouth when giving a blowjob?
The guy getting his ass eaten or the guy playing with his own nipples. (Yes this is straight porn I’m referring too.)
Instead of playing with his own nipples he should play patty cake with the guy jerking off
Disingenuous love or none at all.
Overly produced.
"“Sssss, haahhh”
Doesn’t care about woman’s pleasure. Blowjob leads right into sex.
She’s obviously dry.
The cum is fake.
The guy is half hard pushing rope while she’s pretending too hard that it feels good.
Circumcised penis, especially if it’s an oral video.
Gambling site ads embedded in a video.
A grainy video shot on a tripod with no studio lights with people who actually like each other is better than 95% of the garbage that gets posted. I prefer erotica written for men over videos. Even when it’s written cheesy it’s still better than most videos.
All that annoying nudity.
