Stamets@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 months ago"Hey Google, Turn my balls off"lemmy.worldexternal-linkmessage-square138fedilinkarrow-up1731arrow-down117
arrow-up1714arrow-down1external-link"Hey Google, Turn my balls off"lemmy.worldStamets@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 months agomessage-square138fedilink
minus-squarerockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.eelinkfedilinkarrow-up184·6 months agoImagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker
minus-squarecuttlebughug@lemmynsfw.comlinkfedilinkarrow-up12·6 months agoCan still cum, just no sperm 🥲
minus-squarecooopsspace@infosec.publinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up42·edit-26 months ago“Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I’ll give you an errection in front of the HR manager.” Or worse "Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you’ll never get an errection again.*
minus-squarerockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.eelinkfedilinkarrow-up25·6 months agoEven worse “You are now on a per-boner subscription plan”
minus-squarecooopsspace@infosec.publinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up4·6 months agoThey could just straight up drain your balls and leave them drier than the Sahara desert.
minus-squareBuglefingers@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up1·3 months ago1: Nobody would notice regardless 2: That’ll happen even without you 3: :'(
minus-squareSeekPie@lemm.eelinkfedilinkarrow-up12·edit-26 months agoCannot pee anymore :( (because the pee is stored in the balls)
minus-squareKokesh@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up4·6 months agoOr someone triggers this remotely after it has been off for like 2 years. You sit on Monday morning meeting. You get up to the screen to present your new project and boom.
Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker
WannaCry? No, WannaCum.
Can still cum, just no sperm 🥲
“Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I’ll give you an errection in front of the HR manager.”
Or worse
"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you’ll never get an errection again.*
Even worse
“You are now on a per-boner subscription plan”
They could just straight up drain your balls and leave them drier than the Sahara desert.
1: Nobody would notice regardless
2: That’ll happen even without you
3: :'(
Future kink
Cannot pee anymore :(
(because the pee is stored in the balls)
Don’t kinkshame me
Or someone triggers this remotely after it has been off for like 2 years. You sit on Monday morning meeting. You get up to the screen to present your new project and boom.