Yeah, we’ve just been Weekend at Bernieing this “democracy” for awhile now and it’s starting to really really stink.

Sounds like a kinky night in the bedroom.

Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.

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That’s not a birch

This is a birch.

I cook by vibe mostly because I don’t have the items the recipe calls for. So I typically substitute whatever I have that I think fits or smells right. Works well 9/10, just when someone asks me what I used to make something, I have no fucking clue.

Enhance 224 to 176.
Enhance, stop.
Move in, stop.
Pull out, track right, stop.
Center in, pull back.
Stop.
Track 45 right.
Stop.
Center and stop.
Enhance 34 to 36.
Pan right and pull back.
Stop.
Enhance 34 to 46.
Pull back.
Wait a minute, go right, stop.
Enhance 57 to 19.
Track 45 left.
Stop.
Enhance 15 to 23.
Give me a hard copy right there.

Was going to say this wooden post looks like it’s about to drop some life changing advice.

The first sentence of a horrible Elon x Trump fanfiction.

Everything reminds me of Vim

#1 You have nipples.
#2 You like things inside you.
#3 You like rubbing or licking things.
#4 You’ve said “A hole is a hole”.

Gimli:
Never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an Elf.

Gogolas:
What about side by side with someone precious?

Amateur! I haven’t stood up in so long my leg muscles have atrophied. I have fused with my office chair. Also I never leave and only take 10 min micro naps as my body periodically shuts down, unfortunately a weakest of my human form. I occupy one entire floor of the building as my productivity lair and only enter other floors when most employees are gone for the day, usually late at night. Typically to double check their work or scavenge for food.

I scare most of my coworkers, I think I’ve become something of myth? The interns gave me a name, I heard one scream “the Chairman is real!”. He was working late that night and I bumped into him. Anyhow I was famished, so I quickly knocked him out with my keyboard and dragged him back to my lair for a quick power lunch.

The legends say she is still circling the pump to this day.

Ain’t ye gonna get yer two bits?

Elf in a mouth

If I was alive in the Warhammer 40k universe I’d honestly probably be turned in servo-skull and tasked with far more mundane jobs like following around a Space Marine as a lamp.

About three fiddy, but it’s mostly shake.

Feel like they missed the mark on Mace. The head isn’t as ridiculous as the chin.