I never had a social life, either romantic or Platonic, and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone from 0 social life to an active one past college. Like I wasted college just going to classes and I graduated already. Thoughts?
I hope so, otherwise I’m fucked.
No, not at all! As you grow older, it may not be as automatic as when you are in school. Many of the people that you interact with might be focused on their own stuff (work, partner, family, hobbies, finance) and not too motivated to expand or even have a “social life” in whatever free time they have (if they even do). But this is not everyone. There is still a lot of people at every age that do want a social life, you just need to put in a bit of effort to connect with them.
And, a tip, do not consider failed attempts at socializing as a “failure” on your side. Perceived rejection often boils down to people being very attached to their free time, and socializing not being on their list of priorities. If you keep this in mind then you do not need to feel discomfort from rejection, and you can be active in your search for like-minded people without worry.
Too late? No way! Success depends a lot on your expectations and sense of self, so I would encourage you to be in therapy to get those straight. We all need therapy, but now would be a good time for you, before starting a new way of life.
But no way. You are perfectly fine.
The most difficult part is keeping your privacy respected. Normals will require you congregate on some proprietary, data-thieving platform to participate.
Mid-20s is honestly the perfect time to start
My experience has been that you basically restart the process of building a new social circle every few years. Life circumstances change. People move away. Some relationships grow apart. Some start families. So there’s always going to be others in the same boat as you looking for new connections.
Dude, it’s literally never too late. x3
There’s old people fuck-a-thons in retirement homes for heaven’s sake, lol. And those people are almost a century old.
Get on meetup.com if you aren’t sure what’s out there, but there’s all sorts of fun stuff going on! Meetup is platonic.
Absolutely. I was an absolute loner for the better part of a decade. Then my depression just disappeared. I joined a community around a streamer and had loads of fun. Just find the intersection between your preferred subject (literary analysis, anime tiddies, etc.) and your preferred communication method. (Text forum, voice chat, real life meetings, etc.) You’ll find at least someone you can hang with, maybe more. Just go at it with openness and joy.
Nah. You can make friends at any age. Most of it comes down to showing interest in the person you want to befriend and asking them about themselves.
Imo as an ADHD person this world best for me. The hard part is finding the interesting person I wanna befriend. Most have happened casually through games or events. If you board game. Or pickle ball. Or shit join a cooking class. Good chance you’ll be interested in someone in the bunch.
As someone mentioned before: play boardgames. The nice thing is you don’t need any cause we gamers already have plenty and are always looking for people to play with.
Also go volunteering. You’ll meet people of different ages, genders and backgrounds. I myself volunteer in a youth centre in my neighbourhood. Initially I knew no one on the streets. Now people recognise me, teens and parents alike, say hello and acknowledge me. I myself like this. It makes the neighbourhood feel more welcoming and save. Initially I „hid“ behind our counter having a save distance between me and the teens until I felt comfortable and feeling like I can intrude their space. It takes time. But it is worth it.
Can second boardgames. these are the sociable nerds
Mid 20s? You’re barely out of your teenage years, of course you can. Now if anyone has some tips for mid 40s…
My 20s were complete garbage. I can’t remember most of what happened there because nothing ever happened. At the end I didn’t see any hope for myself and had some disturbing thoughts. But I’ve come around somehow and met my now best friends and many other nice people during my 30s. I owe them my life basically. Though I still have trouble finding romantic connection and I’m not trying anymore.
Where I meet people: At work, neighbors, hiking or board game groups
I think it’s important to get out and meet many different people, even without ever becoming friends. You learn social skills, you have more things to talk about with others, you feel more accepted in general, it’s a spiral upwards.
No its not too late
My most social years were in my 30’s!
You start a social life many times on your life. The people around you will change many times, and your relationships will change as well.
Don’t feel pushed to start a social life.
Also, it’s a skill you will take time thlo learn and make lots of mistakes, don’t worry, it’s normal.
And don’t look for others approval in general, ota just wrong, but perfectly normal to look for. Still wrong
I feel like the most important thing to take away here is to not feel pushed to have a social life. One city I lived in I had one friend I really considered a friend and the rest were mostly in the background (though fun to hang out with time to time).
For me a social life is enough if I find a single person who is capable of listening and rolls with bouncing ideas off each other.
May or may not apply to OP but zero social life sounds like they’re an introvert.
