I’d be Cables Don’t Tangle Man.
Never get bitten by mosquitoes man.
Mosquitos used to find me attractive, but as I aged they didn’t come by no more.
I would be Sleep-on-command man
That’s me. The secret is to give up caffeine entirely and stick to a sleep schedule even on weekends.
I did the opposite. I just work so much that I’m exhausted all the time.
If you’re in a state of perma-exhaustion, sleep is easy
I don’t know if this qualifies as “b-tier”, but I’d really would like a superpower where when hearing a sound I knew exactly what made it.
I live in an old house, in the middle of a forest. Lots of weird noises both inside and outside. Being able to know if a sound I just heard requires my attention (i.e. “is that some animal messing around in my walls, or just the old wood squeaking”) would be gold. The amount of times I’ve gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to investigate something is too damn high. After countless mice, vasps nests, birds, and various mammals deciding to move in with us, my paranoia levels have skyrocketed.
Would also sort out the “is that my kid crying, or just the draft through the vents”-question, as well as “is that normal wood settling noises, or is there more rot I’ve yet to find and the whole house is collapsing”.
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I’m happy I’m not alone. Last night something was going through my kitchen. It sounded larger than a mouse and it didn’t care about making noise. You know that moment when you’re asleep and your body wakes you up slightly cuz something is off. And you’re in that low power state thinking about whether you should think or not because it’ll wake you up?
Anyway I was so exhausted I thought let it have some fun I just can’t care.
There are dozens of us!
I’ve had the exact same reaction - “whatever it is, as long as it stays out of the bedroom I’ll deal with it tomorrow”.
My favorite incident here, as a tangent, is when my wife came to me for help while I was doing something in the garden. A large crow was sitting on the kitchen counter. My initial thought was “well there goes my day” as birds tend to be the worst to get out. However, everyone keep saying how smart those birds are so I figured I’d do what I do when half-ferral cats stumble in.
So I walked in, see the crow, the crow sees me, and we kind of just stare at each other. I slowly backed up, went around the house and entered again through the backdoor. I grabbed his attention again before going out once more, and in again through the main door. We stared at each other some more, and then he just lightly jumped across the floor and went out the back door. No frantical flying and crapping everywhere. 10/10 experience as far as birds stuck in the house goes.
It’s probably in my imagination, but we shared a moment there. What’s not in my imagination though is that afterwards a bunch of crows started hanging around the house. So I started giving them some snacks every once in a while, because why not. Long story long, we have a small murder of crows watching over the property.
My toes are unstubbable
Wow now this is the superpower I want. I’d walk through my house in the dark with WILD ABANDON!
Ooh, I’ll be Always-Remembers-What-He-Was-Going-To-Buy-At-The-Store Man.
Having recently undergone a full extraction of my remaining teeth and gotten dentures, I’ll take “has a healthy set of teeth”- or “can afford dental implants”-man
Alright, then I can be “I can afford experimental treatment to regrow my teeth-man!”
My knees and elbows don’t hurt man.
To actually fall asleep when my head hits the pillow, and then stay asleep until the alarm goes off.
Unless there’s no alarm set, otherwise an untimely demise.
Sounds like as good a retirement plan as any. /shrug
He said B Tier! As a lifelong chronic insomniac I’d give almost anything for that ability.
Better: Type in any time to sleep in the bed. No need to set an alarm, just set 7h and done.
Can milk anything
I’ve got nipples, can you milk me?
We can certainly try
To be able to put together the perfect response for any interaction I ever have man
This one might be A-tier.
A Tier? AAA ranging on Universe Killer Tier. The perfect response becomes the perfect negotiator, the perfect social infiltrator, the master manipulator. He casually gets free coffee, he cajoles his way through national secrets, he convinces his landlord that the concept of income through scarce resource stockpiling is immoral and that they should see the property as a shared commodity. Genius
Always remember where I put stuff man
I don’t want to lose another guitar pick lol
Do they still not tangle when you hand said cables to someone?
They can, but they get untangled once OP has them again.
Free unlimited WiFi woman.
That’s called “we canceled Comcast but they’re so fucking inept they never actually stopped the wifi service even though they stopped charging us”
Happened to me once. It was amazing.
I’m going to go with good old fashioned, “extra luck”. Never know when it’s going to show up, but it would definitely improve your general disposition when things tend to go your way.
I thought Domino as depicted in Deadpool 2 was pretty cool. Just lucky enough.
Yeah, she was a high point. I can’t see a whole Domino film, but she’s hilarious as a supporting superhero. It helped that the actor sold it well; so nonchallant in the most extreme situations.
Hers was definitely A-tier, though. She was more like a Teela Brown - the Universe simply was not going to allow anything bad to happen to her, unless it was ultimately for her own good.
Once, I wanted to annihilate all bedbugs in the world with a snap of a finger (I would even learn how to snap for this very purpose), just disappear them forever at my will. A single use power, nothing more than that, and I don’t care what that suppose to do to the environment.
For some reason.
… I mean if you don’t know how to snap, then you never have snapped. For all you know this actually could be your super power and you haven’t even bothered to find out. With great power comes great responsibility.
Once, I wanted to annihilate all bedbugs in the world
just once?
Well…unless they spontaneously appear or aliens bring them from their planet I don’t think more than once is needed.
Of course maybe another person wants a power to manifest them into the world again.
