My bank’s mutual fund let me buy and sell at yesterday’s price, so every time the stock market went up, I bought, and when it went down, I sold. I talked to a teller about it, wondering how much money the mutual fund rule designer had pumped money out of the bank by then. They quickly changed the rule into a non-insane form: today’s price.

I should have just shut up and kept pumping money out of the idiot bank, but I was young and stupid.