It can be low effort, passive-aggressive, insulting or derogatory towards your convictions.
A box of Mario fruit snacks when I was a kid.
About 20 years ago
I went to my family Christmas with my then-partner. I got a Grinch onesie from my family
We then attended my partner’s family Christmas where basically the entire living room was stuffed with presents for the kids (my partner and their siblings). My then-partner complained about how they all got more $$ worth of presents. I pointed out that I got a pair of pjs for Christmas. The reply: “it’s not about the dollar amount, it’s just they got more than me” (paraphrased)
I hated that present. A fucking onesie? It was such a disappointing present, and for a long time I used it as an example for questions just like this
I kept it and wore it. Eventually I lost the bitterness and started to cherish it even. Which is why I still wear it regularly this time of year! It’s quite warm… plus, it has pockets!
Grinch tax:
Sounds really fucked up of me, but I once had a girlfriend gift me a painting she made for me. I could tell she really tried, took her time, spent money on it, and she chose a subject matter I really liked, but it was absolutely terrible. One of the worst paintings I’ve ever seen.
It put me in such a dilemma because she even framed it and was expecting me to hang it up at my place but I couldn’t bear to hang it and see it ‘decorating’ my place. I thanked her a lot when she gave it to me but I would’ve preferred she had gotten me nothing instead.
Did you hang it?
Not me, but my wife.
She receives an envelope from her grandmother, oh cool, money!
She opened it and it was empty. Okay, no fuss she probably forgot to fill one when making all of them for the family. A week later, she told her grandma it was empty. Her grandma replied “No! There’s no way it was empty, your mistaken.” This is par for the course. She ignores my wife all the time and talks down to her.So an empty envelope is the worst I’ve seen.
Reminds me that my aunt gave me 100$ in a box but claimed I threw it out…
I had an aunt and uncle who, when I was a kid maybe 12, were not well off. They got my brother and I each this toyset that was like make pretend welding. It had a hand tool that, if I remember, let you weld with this soft plastic to make things with the parts in the kit.
It also had a chamber near the nozzle that spun and contained something that made a bunch of sparks.
Well… The thing kept zapping and burning me. Kinda hurt. So, being 12, I complained about it.
And of course, I was an ingrate for not liking the toy they could afford instead of a Lego set or something. The worst of it was I got what my parents meant, my aunt and uncle were kind of ashamed. But it burned me.
Hell I thought it was really cool, and even said so, but I couldn’t keep playing with it due to, you know, my hand being red and kinda cut up.
Just bad times all around.
And no, no one suggested put a glove on, and it did not come with one.
one of my buddies got a mtn dew. thats it
another got a playstation gift card, which would have been good but he didnt have a playstation
I was deployed and got a box from my home unit that was basically just trash. I think it was supposed to be funny, but it was just a lot of scrap paper thrown into a box. Nothing written on them that was for me. Nothing to signal anything. Just a big box of trash that could have been nothing more than the recycling bin upended into it.
That was pretty heartbreaking.
Did you ever talk about it with them? Definitely sounds like an inconsiderate joke. Flabbergasting that they managed to follow through enough to get it posted to you.
Someone sent me what they referred to as a self-help DVD that was just some motivational speaker type of person invalidating my issues. A virus in the DVD also temporarily destroyed my friend’s DVD player in the process of playing it.
I’ve always been a computer/theatre nerd. When I was a teen my parents bought me a bike. I did not express nor have any interest in a bike, but I’m sure my mom felt I needed to go outside more and spend less time on the computer. A week or two later while upset at me about something else she complained that I haven’t even used my new bike yet.
That sounds a bit petty from you, at least from my POV.
No matter how nerdy you are, going outside is healtht, both physically and mentally. They got you a nice gift, IMO.
They got me something I had no interest in and were upset I wasn’t using it. Ever hear the phrase “it’s the thought that counts”? It demonstrated zero thought into what I would actually be interested in.
It’s like buying a teen a set of knitting needles and being surprised that they didn’t start knitting with them.
Bro upset his parents told him to be healthy and touch grass.
Lenny moment
I didn’t like a gift that demonstrated zero understanding of who I was or what I would have wanted.
There was no attempt to talk to me about going outside more or getting more exercise, I have always been pretty skinny and reasonably healthy, and at no point did I indicate that I didn’t go outside or wasn’t active.
But I’m sure you understand my parents and their motivations better than I do.
Lenny moment.Lenny moment
You’re only making one person look silly, and it’s not them.
Years ago my father in law gave me a Costco sized flat of Nanaimo bars. Like just wrapped it and that was that. I was so bummed as I thought it was a big coffee table book. I ended up cutting them all in half and freezing them, so we had treats through the year. My husband and I still joke about it. As we passed them in Costco last week he suggested I return the favour.
My Dad once gifted me a bazinga shirt. I don’t watch the big bang theory.
Oh fuck i have a long history of this…
My parents got me a cheap set of tools, pliers, screw drivers, level and a wood burner with no wood to burn at 10. My brother got a gameboy SP and Pokémon.
Two years later I got an electric shaver and Cologne. I didn’t start growing facial hair until 17 and didn’t have enough to need more than one pass with a razor until 26. Still have the Cologne, it’s not awful but it’s also not a smell that works for me.
14 I got a store made cake and $20. I can’t eat the cake, the frosting makes my face hurt and that’s been a problem since I was 5 so they know I can’t eat the cake.
Basically, I didn’t get a present for me until I met my wife at 30.
damn, that sounds like you were part of a case study in your childhood. Is there a difference with how your brother turned out and yourself? Interested to know if you picked up skills like DIY and stuff while your brother isn’t capable of those things.
So I’m a trans guy and as a kid I was very obviously masculine, stereotypical tomboy. One of my aunts that married into the family gave me, maybe around age 5-7, a toy makeup kit. To this day I don’t know wtf she was thinking, because it wasn’t like she never met or saw me. Was it thoughtless or passive aggressive? Who can say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Top three would be my weird Christmas ‘bonuses’ from a previous employer. In order of weirdness: some fake notes (representing the companies record profits that year), a single bike pedal, and finally a spanner which had been spray painted orange.
My mother-in-law gave me a booked called The Etiquette Edge which essentially explained how to be polite
This is so funny to me! My wife recently got mad at me for comments I made on our anniversary. When I explained what I meant, she was totally fine. Communication is hard sometimes.
Yeah I’d agree with that, but this is different. She was trying to help with what she saw as my ignorance about how much more positively people respond when you follow certain social rules.
She’s a northern German woman who used to run a car dealership. I listen to punk rock. We get along but the things we value in life are pretty disparate.
