Straightforward: my 29-year-old son is dating a 16-year-old girl he met at a jazz festival this summer. Openly. He had a same age long-term girlfriend until last year, when they broke up amicably. We really loved her, she was basically our daughter-in-law and we’re still in touch. His current girlfriend’s parents know about their relationship & are cool with it. For the record: it’s also legal in our country. We don’t think it’s right though, he’s a grown ass man while she’s a high schooler. He’s also very successful professionally, handsome, takes good care of himself, has a good personality, etc. so it’s not like he’s lacking options. He just says he likes her - that’s his why. He’s not a bad person, I know that, but still this whole situation has changed our perception of him quite a bit. We’re having a rough time to say the least.
I don’t know what happened with my writing voice today, but I sound incredibly pompous here and I apologize that I don’t have time to rewrite…
I was raised with a calculation for appropriate age differences, which is only enforced socially in addition to, but not superseding, legal limits. The appropriate minimum age of a romantic prospect is equal to half one’s own age, plus seven. Perhaps it’s a little clinical, but at least there are clear rules so that things like this that are, strictly legal, still subject to opprobrium. That said, I can’t imagine dating anyone so young at my age, even allowing for such a calculation. It is difficult to form a high opinion of anyone who dates well below their age range, and the only thing I can recommend is that they may have lingering maturity issues, or unresolved youthful fantasies that may be, with any luck, addressed in time with therapy. That is only hopeful if they are interested in growing however, and without public censure that may not obtain.