Hi. I have a 20-year-old daughter. Recently she met this Russian guy online and they started dating. On Thursday she flew to Istanbul (from our city of Bucharest); on Friday from Istanbul to Moscow. She didn’t tell us she was going to Russia. We found out after she was already there. Since yesterday I can’t stop worrying given the whole situation in the region.
Anywhere else in Russia? Moscow is almost 300 miles away from the Ukrainian border. As long as she’s not in the habit of exploring oil refineries and ammo depots near the Ukrainian border, what are you worried for?
imo, this situation is way too complex for internet strangers to effectively help with. It’s definitely worthwhile to seek out therapy to help process these feelings and to make a plan for resolving some of the deeper issues at play.
I agree that the internet might not be the best place to share your fears. At the same time though Russia is a country at war and doesn’t seem to be very friendly to foreigners at the moment. I’m not sure if that suggests a deeper issue than a caring parent being understandably worried about their daughter.
Have you tried meditation?
On another note, your question is how to stop worrying but reading between the lines I get the feeling you are also asking how to get her to come home.
If so, she’s 20 and therefore an adult. So your role needs to be as a trusted advisor rather than rule maker. Have you tried discussing your fears with her in a way that makes it clear that a) ultimately what she does is her decision to make, and b) you will love her regardless of what decision she makes? She’s much more likely to listen if she feels that you are trying to provide alternate perspectives for her to weigh and balance without trying to control the outcome.
I haven’t actually. She’s leaving on 7 Dec (to Istanbul) and arriving home on 8. I have, but she’s the kind of person who if she really wants to do something - she’ll do it no matter what others think.
Does she know how worried you are? If not, try to explain in a way that let’s her feel compassion towards you and not feel blamed/attacked/claustrophobic. At least then she might regularly let you know that she’s still safe. Do you or her know anyone else in Russia who can be there for her if she needs any help?
She does. She just says everything will be fine, nothing to worry about, relax. We talk daily at least. And no, I don’t know anybody in Russia. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know anybody besides her boyfriend and his family / friends either.
Know someone that did that journey recently, just came back last weekend. Said everything is fine in moscow and you can literally get everything (rebranded worst case). The only annoying thing was money and travel restrictions (i.e. fly over turkey,serbia,…).
So if she is only going to moscow, i don’t think thats much cause to worry.
Edit: i understant your reason to be worried, i am just saying moscow is not a terrible place like one might think from media, and there could be worse things to do. Probably better things as well, though…
They’re staying in Moscow for a week & after that going to Altai for a trip.
