To keep it short: my ex-wife cheated on me with this guy, we divorced, she married him immediately after. Since January we’ve been co-parenting, she has our son (14 years old) for 2 weeks & I have him for 2 weeks. Her now husband is wealthy, and for the winter holidays they plan on going to the Maldives for 3 weeks (I agreed to give up 1 week of my 2 weeks; gonna get +1 week with son after the vacation). Apparently son has been asking his mom and stepdad if I can come as well. So ex-wife calls me and asks me if I’d like to go, all expenses paid by them, just to be with our son and have some fun - and let’s “put all the bad blood behind”. I told her I’ll think about it, but honestly I don’t think I’d feel comfortable. At the same time going would make son extremely happy obviously. Idk.
This isn’t FOR the wife. It’s FOR the child. The wife doesn’t get anything out of this. It isn’t rewarding her. Do you think SHE wants the ex there?! This is just broken thinking. It’s not anyone’s job to teach the wife “the right lessons” or make sure she doesn’t get rewarded for the wrong thing. I think you are covering for more primitive motivations.
My “primitive motivations” are on full display, not covered at all. The “primitive motivation” is to show your kid how to not let people walk all over you.
You absolutely should not be a third wheel for the adulterous ex and her cheating-partner guy.
I never said anything about teaching lessons to the ex. You brought that idea in from nowhere.
Sure she does… She gets to bone the new husband while bio-dad is on babysitting duty.
Why bring the kid at all then? They already had a free and eager babysitter right there.
Because this way they get to control the situation and manipulate bio-dad.
Leaving the kid at home would give bio-dad extra visitation which they don’t want to do.
Why are you making that assumption?
The fact that she cheated with this guy and married him immediately points to this being a completely unhealthy relationship.
The assumption should be ill intent, not the opposite, given the circumstances.
100%. At best its extremely disrespectful. At worst it’s a petty power play. And you don’t want to teach your child to allow themselves to be treated that way.
If you view spending time with your son in the Maldives as a chore getting foisted off on you, then yes, you certainly should not go. Or really even have a lot of contact with any of them.