Deep inside I wish all of you say “no, it wasn’t” so I can cope with the fact I’ll die alone more peacefully… But I guess I can’t control y’all, so be honest or whatever.

  • the post of tom joad@sh.itjust.works
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    12 days ago

    When you’re in the right frame of mind (where you aren’t looking to complete yourself with someone else) someone will find you or you will find someone where the “calculations” about proper amounts of time and money spent with them go out the window and the “work” that must be done does not feel like such.

    At least that’s what happened to me. When it feels natural you can tell the difference from the other ones… then you’re on the right track to happiness

      • the post of tom joad@sh.itjust.works
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        12 days ago

        I dunno what dating experience you have, or even if everyone does this. Only speaking to my own experience, i used to calculate whether i was being a good mate or whether i was being taken advantage, that kind of thinking. When i met my partner all that stuff disappeared.

        I glossed over the “get head right” stage but that was the most important bit for me, and may be where you are in life if you follow my path.

        I am and have always been a romantic, really wanted to be with someone. Gave up even looking for dates and focused on my own head and life. Went to the gym, got a little project to do, (you know, that pat shit everyone says to do like it’s fucking easy.)

        It just happened to be something i was capable of in that moment. I i discovered them what it means when ppl say exercise is good for your brain. And then, while i was busy minding my business i got chased down and married by someone who saw more in me than i see in myself.

        I’m definitely not special in any way, solid 6/10. That means it can happen to you even tho it sounds like I’m blowing smoke up your ass.

        Anyway i don’t know how to finish this, but i really empathize with where you are cuz i was there too. i just wanna extend the belief to you that you can get here, you really can.

        • Platypus@lemmings.worldOP
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          12 days ago

          Here’s the thing. I already went to the gym long ago and had a shitty job (all my jobs will be shitty, I’m dumb, uneducated and poor) I quit both. I couldn’t take it anymore and it’s been years since then. That’s just not me, it depresses me.