- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
cross-posted from: https://discuss.online/post/12273255
I’ve only been on Lemmy a few days and I’ve already witnessed a lot of thinly veiled transphobia, anything from people dismissing the existence of trans people, to trying to claim we are predators. I’ve also seen people downvoted in the general communities for expressing trans support, or seemingly for no reason other than simply being openly trans or visibly queer. I know it’s an ongoing effort to moderate transphobia on Lemmy, and the fediverse as a whole. We have to also address mentions of thinly veiled transphobia and transphobic users. Transphobia isn’t just a differing opinion, it is a dangerous hateful sentiment which causes harm to vulnerable people and it needs to be addressed, at the instance and community level. We need to put in the effort to identify transphobic dogwhistles and language used by transphobes to eradicate this type of behavior from our communities and servers alike.
Some people will argue that the light stuff isn’t something to worry about, but that’s not true. This is a tactic they use to blend in with normies and make them think that nothing they are doing or saying is wrong. It’s what transphobic right-wing YouTubers and Facebook users do to avoid being banned for hate speech. We are better than these corporations though, Fediverse is run by communities and for the users, we should not let these things slide as easily as Corporations do, they’re in it to make money, we… We’re in it to create a community for the users. Part of that means kicking out those who don’t have all our best interests at heart.
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Use the report button also to report transphobia, so we can get to it asap.
Hexbear is easily the most trans-positive instance, and it isn’t close. Strictly anti-chaser, pro-trans, there’s even a cis/trans questionaire that shows trans and trans-questioning members outnumber cis members when put together.
Lemmy.ml’s trans community has fantastic mods, but unfortunately Lemmy.ml itself isn’t as protective of its trans users. I try to report transphobia when I see it, but I see a lot more transphobia on Lemmy.ml than I do on Hexbear.net.
obviously i can’t speak for my trans comrades on hexbear, but from what I can tell it is genuinely the most trans friendly place on the internet. it has gone through more than one purge of even subtle transphobes, and it’s one of the few places where both cis and trans people can join in harmony on bullying cis people. Additionally, the mods are extremely quick to ban any new transphobes who wander in. all this to say if the transphobia of the rest of the lemmyverse ever gets to be too much even if you aren’t a full on socialist the trans comms on hexbear can still make an account there worth it for anyone who needs a respite from it all
I’m sorry you’ve had to experience that transphobia on Lemmy. It is unfortunately common. And sometimes it even lurks as internalized transphobia in people that do not think of themselves as transphobjc. For example, there are Lemmy instances that actually promote chasers.
I believe all instances if transphobia should be called out and obvious examples should result in bans. Sometimes it is good to let people have a chance to accept criticism and retract but I am biased towards more often banning. Comments that are transphobic should also be removed.
Most people who are transphobic know what they are doing, I’m certain the people I saw do. They’re not going to change, they need to be given the boot to protect our communities from becoming Nazi bars.
Oh yes, sorry if I implied giving these particular people a break. I was speaking more generally but miscommunicated. The people you mentioned should all be banned in my opinion.
On Hexbear, transphobes are executed on sight.
I wish more instances would handle banning transphobes the way Hexbear does. No tolerance for Bigotry. Lemmy.world though seems to unfortunately be quite lenient about it ☹️
the votes arent completely tallied yet, but since its relevant to this discussion, take a look at this one result from a survey. 266 trans people unanimously agree that hexbear is a transgender inclusive space.
Lemmy.world is quite right wing. A reasonably large proportion of insufferable folk. Better off with Hexbear if you’re a communist or BeeHaw is another option. Blahaj also an option.
Hope you find the right place for you.
Posts like this make me glad for my instance
I do not think the future of the fediverse lies in general purpose instances but that said, IMO Beehaw is the gold standard of a general purpose instance.
I read a post earlier tonight from tumbler that made me uncomfortably aware that I am naive when it comes to dog whistles and other subtleties people use to spread their hate. It laid out examples of things people are saying, and explained why they’re bad.
I know I would find it helpful and educational to know where you’re coming from, and to see the examples you’re speaking about.
Sure I can provide some examples:
I just wish they wouldn’t force their gender and pronouns onto other people
Translation: Doesn’t believe trans people are valid and doesn’t think people should respect our preferred pronouns
I just think that they need to keep it to themselves and leave kids out of it
Translation: Doesn’t believe we should exist in public, that we are a threat to children by virtue of being transgender.
It’s important to protect women’s spaces
Translation: Trans women shouldn’t be allowed to use the same spaces cis women use
There’s also more subtle ones such as people referring to cis women as real women, or referring to the transgender movement as gender ideology. The first one is wrong because trans women are real women, and the second one is wrong because transgender isn’t a religion or organization like a church. They are calling it an ideology so they can pretend there is an institution to fight against, in reality transgender people just exist and want to live our lives.
Welcome. There’s a lot of shit here. It’s like the early days of the Internet. The early days of reddit. Little bit of everything. Grow a thick skin if stuff offends you, or find your safe spots. There are as many great places and people as there are bad. And there are sheltered safe spots if that’s what you’re looking for.
You are extremely self centered in how you see the world. There are as many people in the world and in the fediverse that would say kick you out because you don’t have their best interests at heart. We can argue right and wrong all you want but that’s not the point, especially since it sounds like you don’t want to do any arguing. That’s how a lot of folks feel, and they are here too.
There are also plenty of trolls and foreign bad actors. We’ve really got it all already.
Oh no not the foreigners.
Anyway a better solution than tolerating the transphobes is to ban them. I have no idea what the fuck @[email protected] is talking about. Sounds like shit.
I have no idea what the fuck @[email protected] is talking about.
Smug, self-serving, self-congratulatory, “it’s the internet, therefore caring about anything or expecting any conduct standards is stupid” thought terminating cliches. That shit got tired decades ago and it’s still vile now.
You are extremely self centered in how you see the world. There are as many people in the world and in the fediverse that would say kick you out because you don’t have their best interests at heart.
Wanting basic respect to not have my existence and rights debated or denied is not self-centered, kindly go fuck off if you think it is. If me being transgender and wanting basic respect, and not having my existence and identity denied doesn’t “have their best interests at heart” they can fuck off, because they are nazis and bigots who don’t have my or my minority brethren’s best interests at heart. This isn’t asking for special treatment, this is asking to not have my existence and identity denied. Something that cishet people take for granted.
Folks this is an example of one of these dogwhistles I pointed out, trying to claim that wanting basic respect as a person and the way I identify is somehow self-centered. Fact is LGBTQ people just want to exist without prejudice or having their existence and validity debated, that isn’t an unreasonable ask and yet there are people who will screetch and whine when simply being asked to show respect, not even told, asked.
I get what you’re saying but you need to look at how you’re reacting. The comment you’re responding to isn’t denying your existence, they are simply pointing out that the fediverse is diverse and you got your back up and told them to fuck off.
Now, if you want a more pleasant experience, and if you are an actual person (not a troll) then join a server that isn’t full of extremists like lemmy.ml. Beehaw is cool. There are other cool ones as well.
Regardless of which one you’re you’re still going to encounter bad actors, just as you will in real life. Remember that people who comment ignorantly aren’t always meaning harm…but it works both ways- you have the potential to turn an ally into someone who may start to think LGBTQ+ are full of emotional extremists (unless, again you’re a troll account and this is your sad, sad goal)
There are more allies out there than you know.
Wanting transphobes to fuck off isnt self-centered. Its avoiding the Nazi bar problem.
Agreed, this is a really bad take. I feel like this person is one of those people spreading thinly veiled transphobia and dogwhistles. That’s what that is, claiming we are self-centered, too sensitive, slowflakes, triggered, etc. That’s what they say to try and deny the legitimacy of our struggle, and the fact that in the end what we want is basic respect and recognition, they don’t even want to do that.
I think you touched on a great point: there are people who do not want to participate in a discussion; they’d rather make their statements, and then have nothing to do with anyone who disagrees with them at any level.
People have forgotten that “to argue” means to, “give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one’s view…”
And just because someone doesn’t immediately or fully agree with you does not make them your enemy, or necessarily mean they’re a bad person. Sure, there are people who would argue in bad faith, and those people should certainly not be tolerated. But there are also people who are here in good faith, attempting to have honest conversations.
