I have too, [email protected], [email protected], and [email protected] are some really nice ones. Most of what I’ve seen weren’t bad communities or even bad posts, it was users commenting under posts, sometimes their own, sometimes other people’s. Some weren’t even in communities related to LGBTQ, but it came up and they were talking about it. Most of the users had the @lemmy.world extension but a few were lemmy.ml, and a few others too.

I wish more instances would handle banning transphobes the way Hexbear does. No tolerance for Bigotry. Lemmy.world though seems to unfortunately be quite lenient about it ☹️

Most people who are transphobic know what they are doing, I’m certain the people I saw do. They’re not going to change, they need to be given the boot to protect our communities from becoming Nazi bars.

Most of those people are on big general purpose instances hiding in the shadows, instead of hanging out on Nazi instances so defederation doesn’t really help. Hopefully more people from lemmy.blahaj.zone can go through the general communities on lemmy.world and the like and report as many of those users as possible so they can be banned from their instance. Though it also does feel like a bandaide fix, we need bigger instances to cooperate on these issues, otherwise it’s not actually solved, just hidden for one side. We need lemmy.world’s admins to ban a lot of these people, so they’ll be banned everywhere, not just on specific servers. Banning them from the communities on those instances so they can’t post on them at all anymore. Not just making their transphobic garbage hidden.

I will definitely report it more often when I see it.

Agreed, this is a really bad take. I feel like this person is one of those people spreading thinly veiled transphobia and dogwhistles. That’s what that is, claiming we are self-centered, too sensitive, slowflakes, triggered, etc. That’s what they say to try and deny the legitimacy of our struggle, and the fact that in the end what we want is basic respect and recognition, they don’t even want to do that.

You are extremely self centered in how you see the world. There are as many people in the world and in the fediverse that would say kick you out because you don’t have their best interests at heart.

Wanting basic respect to not have my existence and rights debated or denied is not self-centered, kindly go fuck off if you think it is. If me being transgender and wanting basic respect, and not having my existence and identity denied doesn’t “have their best interests at heart” they can fuck off, because they are nazis and bigots who don’t have my or my minority brethren’s best interests at heart. This isn’t asking for special treatment, this is asking to not have my existence and identity denied. Something that cishet people take for granted.

Folks this is an example of one of these dogwhistles I pointed out, trying to claim that wanting basic respect as a person and the way I identify is somehow self-centered. Fact is LGBTQ people just want to exist without prejudice or having their existence and validity debated, that isn’t an unreasonable ask and yet there are people who will screetch and whine when simply being asked to show respect, not even told, asked.

Sure I can provide some examples:

I just wish they wouldn’t force their gender and pronouns onto other people

Translation: Doesn’t believe trans people are valid and doesn’t think people should respect our preferred pronouns

I just think that they need to keep it to themselves and leave kids out of it

Translation: Doesn’t believe we should exist in public, that we are a threat to children by virtue of being transgender.

It’s important to protect women’s spaces

Translation: Trans women shouldn’t be allowed to use the same spaces cis women use

There’s also more subtle ones such as people referring to cis women as real women, or referring to the transgender movement as gender ideology. The first one is wrong because trans women are real women, and the second one is wrong because transgender isn’t a religion or organization like a church. They are calling it an ideology so they can pretend there is an institution to fight against, in reality transgender people just exist and want to live our lives.

I know, I’m subscribed to many of their communities already, they are some of the nicest people I’ve met on the fediverse. If I was going to recommend my friends join Lemmy I would recommend they join lemmy.blahaj.zone. However even though there are good instances which are safe spaces it doesn’t detract from the problem, since they will still use the federated general communities and thus will still encounter those problems. Even if they’re on the friendly insances, the problem gets federated.

That’s why it is important to address transphobia in the fediverse as a whole, having safe spaces help but we should expect a level of common decency in any community. Not just in the trans-specific communities.

Most of the people exhibiting the transphobic traits and behaviors I’ve mentioned had @lemmy.world extensions on their account. I saw only a few from lemmy.ml doing it, and essentially no hexbears doing it at all.

Well you have to look to a source to buy Estrogen and blockers grey-market, can be hard since it’s… well it’s a grey area. There’s more to it than that but that’s the hard part.

Pirated it (did DIY HRT)

It’s a meme about gender identity using techy terms in different ways to describe how a person realized they were trans (or I guess that they aren’t trans). Basically it’s humor, it’s also a shitpost.

I tried and no matter how hard I try my voice doesn’t pass as fem. Some people say it does trying to be nice but when I showed samples to some voice training communities without telling them my gender, just asking if it sounds masc or fem they confirmed my suspicions, voice training apps also confirm my voice is still well within the masc range. It’s tiring to keep trying and if my voice doesn’t pass unless people are being nice I don’t see the point, still makes me feel bad though 😭

I’m mostly okay now, but I wish my voice was more fem. It’s very deep and that sucks. I know I’ll need voice surgery, voice training hasn’t helped ☹️

I’ve been trying from different doctors. I’ve still been denied on the same basis. That I’m not feminine presenting enough for them, I’m probably never going to be enough by their standards I don’t really like dresses and I only wear makeup to conceal blemishes and a few face scars I have.

I used to try doing voice training but whenever I do a girl voice it sounds like a man trying to sound like a woman. I practiced for a long time and made zero progress. I shared on the voice training subreddits and they confirmed that it does sound super masc. I’ve basically given up at this point, it sucks and feels helpless. I might as well not even bother since even when trying the best I can people will still instantly clock me.