OMG you stupid idiots! I made this one comment that was sassy and now you’re all negatory on my ass. Knock it off. I was being sarcastic and silly. I mean, really, I will just delete the one sarcastic comment to get you all off my ass. Yes, I know what a Keanu Reeves meme is. I just wanted to be dark and sinister with sarcasm. Get over it. I’d really like to not to turn off notifications on my phone and I’d really like to not delete the sarcastic comment. I stand by my sarcasm. If you don’t like my sarcasm, scroll on by.

What is Reddit exactly? And how does this meme worship Keanu? It looks like it is shitting on him.

Imagine being you. I just imagined being you for like, 20 seconds, and I fell asleep from the boredom. I woke up and just ran over to my computer to tell you this. Because I’m a nice guy. I thought you needed to know that being you is kind of boring and made me fall asleep. I feel like it’s my public duty. You might consider not having descendants. Just to populate the world with more interesting people who are intelligent. I think this is pretty easy to do, because nobody would want to procreate with you, anyway.

No, kids, this is what happens when you are smart and think for yourself and go against the majority when you’re right. You should question yourself often, kids. And learn when you’re trapped in a comment stream of idiots. These people, kids, are idiots. And kids, you can manipulate them and say stuff to them, and they say things that are dumber and dumber, and you, my kids, not sniffing glue, get a pure high off watching them fall over themselves saying these meme-ish things. This is when you know, kids, that you have truly wasted your time well on idiots.

They might have asked, but why should I answer? I mean, the 1990s and early 2000s are all neatly searchable on the internet. Look it THE FUCK up. This is why you internet computer dorks are all over Keanu Reeves in the first place and hate my comment. Because I’m right. You’re all a bunch of nerds and I just hang out here from time to time to remind you that you might like trying actually getting laid. But you never listen. Instead you obsess over Keanu. Maybe you are queer and need to be with Keanu and you’re jealous of Demi Moore.

You’re obviously stupid, didn’t get my comment, insist on not getting my comment, so why exactly would you make me know, in public, that you are blocking me? For the upvotes? Kinda lame, my dude. Block the living shit out of me. I don’t want to talk you you, either, because you’re not worthy or smart enough to engage in a conversation with me and you’ve saved me a lot of time so I can talk to people that are worthy of my time. I mean, I’m sorry you’re dumb. But you just are, and I can’t do anything about that.

I thought it was obvious, but apparently it isn’t. I’ll write a book about it and you can buy it and make me money,

If you have to ask by now, you’re kind of not in the know.

Dear Keanu: Keep pissing off people on Lemmy, please and thank you. It’s so much fun. The Lemmy guys are just jealous because you married and screwed Demi Moore.