Quickly going through the modlog of that community I’ve found these three comments that were removed for no other reason than they didn’t align with what some mod thinks, along with a lot of people who were banned with the reason “liberal”.

I don’t even agree with these comments, but that doesn’t matter. You’re willing to host that community to give them a voice, while the mods stifle dissent and silence anyone who disagrees.

The ones who are more on the left are exactly the ones who are less inclined to vote, so yes.

I fail to see how that community is pushing back against any system by repeating the same tired talking points that dissuade people from voting.

I don’t think there were any bad intentions on OP’s end, but the highlighted claim that a person is female and therefore has this or that genitalia is indeed transphobic.

Someone’s probably going to show up and say “but it says ‘female’, not ‘woman’!” Well, “female” as an adjective referring to people already means woman. A female doctor is a doctor who is a woman. And “female” as a noun (e.g., “the females”) is a terrible way to refer to people, to begin with.

saying gender is not a construct is a strong/radical statement in the context of theory

To be clear, I’m saying gender identity isn’t a social construct (gender roles definitely are). And that’s hardly a radical statement given that there is a genetic factor to being trans, as evidenced by e.g. twin studies like this one which found a much higher amount of cases where both twins are trans among identical twins (who have the same genetic code) than non-identical twins. Also, like I mentioned before, a lot of trans people feel considerable relief to their own gender dysphoria upon seeking hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgeries, which is quite hard to explain on a social basis.

I can see why this idea would seem appealing to agender people. But that’s taking one’s personal case and turning it into a statement about gender as a whole. Gender having a biological component isn’t at odds with agender or NB people, but claiming gender is socially constructed is indeed problematic, like I said before.

The rationale that many people follow is that if gender is socially constructed, it can be socially changed as well (through conversion therapy) to make your kid align with their assigned gender at birth, which doesn’t work in reality.

I’ll just copy-paste what I said last time:

The idea that gender is entirely socially constructed is easily the greatest misconception about gender that gets repeated time and again – almost always by cis people, who never think too much about it because they’ve never had to reconsider their own gender.

Gender roles and gender stereotypes really are socially constructed, like the idea that some clothes are feminine and others are masculine, just to name one example. Gender identity, however, is not. If that was true, like the previous commenter was saying, conversion therapy for trans people would work, when it’s been shown it absolutely doesn’t. Gender dysphoria isn’t a social construct either. Many trans people see their own lives improve considerably after taking HRT (hormone therapy) and having gender-affirming surgeries – how can that be explained socially? Also, we know there is a genetic component to being trans as well, because of twin studies. All of which shows there really is a biological component to gender – just not in the “gender = genitals” way that transphobes think.

Thank you!

I remember you shared the letter here. I’m glad to know her initial reaction was good. Things won’t always go smoothly between you, but as long as she’s trying to understand and support you, it’ll be alright. Good luck on your journey!

Alright, listen.

I understand you’re considering starting HRT, and that’s a big decision, so it’s only natural you have fears and doubts. It’s also natural to seek advice and confirmation from people who have already been through this process.

You ask what it was like when we decided to do it. I believe you want to know what it feels like – what is the feeling we had when we were certain, when we knew for sure that this is what we wanted. Well, allow me tell you.

That feeling doesn’t exist.

I also had doubts when I started. But I started anyway, because, given what I knew at the time, I believed it was the right choice. Now I can tell you that starting HRT is the best thing I’ve ever done – but this is something I can only tell you in hindsight.

Your post is very similar to several ones I have seen from questioning people asking what it feels like to know you’re trans, or what was the moment when you figured it out. They seem to believe they can’t act on their feelings until they’re 100% sure. They seem to believe there is a magic moment when all doubts disappear. Well, there isn’t.

Mind you, I’m not telling you to start right away either – it’s perfectly fine to take your time and think it through. Hell, I’m not even telling you to start at all. You’re the only one who can tell if this is right for you. It’s a frustrating answer, I know, but it’s the only honest one I can give you.

I hope this doesn’t come across as rude, but I’m honestly tired of seeing trans people riddled with imposter syndrome, second-guessing every step they take, and holding themselves to an unrealistic standard of being absolutely certain of everything. You will always have doubts. Don’t let them paralyze you.

That works too.

This is pretty good. I do have a few suggestions, but of course, these are only suggestions – it’s your letter, and your mom, after all.

First, I understand that you kept the masculine form of words because you don’t want to overwhelm your mom, right? I definitely understand that, but I think it sends a dubious message as well. You’re saying you’re trans, but you’re still referring to yourself with male terms. That could certainly backfire – at worst, your mom could infer that deep down, you don’t really see yourself as a woman after all. Have you considered switching halfway from masculine to feminine words instead? For example, from the “I’m pretty sure I’m transgender” point onward. That really drives the point home of “you’ve known me as a man up until now, but from now on I want you to treat me as a woman”.

Also, at some point you say “I don’t know what you’ve heard about trans people” which leads me to think she might have some misconceptions and prejudice. Many people associate being trans with “moral degradation”, so at worst, she might think of your coming out as a sign that you’re going to start using drugs and whatnot… It might be a good idea to emphasize that you’re still the same person as always, only your gender isn’t what they thought.

Having said all that, I hope it goes well for you.