Hello. I am new to this platform so I’ll keep this brief.
I was essentially raised in a cult with my autistic siblings being the only social circle I had for most of my childhood. I don’t understand much of anything and when I act like I do, it gets awkward.
My acting Professor said specificity in charachter work was THE key to a good performance. Now when my classmates don’t know an answer, every time, they just say the buzzword… “Uh…specificity?” Everyone laughs. My understanding was that the repetition was the punchline. In actuality, it is a satire of how seriously she takes the craft, since the buzzword often changes.
How can I learn how to socialize with neurotypicals?
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Check out the netflix show “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt.” If you talk to someone who has seen it, you can make references to it that will land very well as jokes to help you break the ice. Make friends with them and they will be a safe context for you to share your insecurities about things you don’t understand, and they will help you.
Don’t overdo it with using lines from that one show though. Just once or twice per person.
You don’t understand rules either. Like Rule 1.
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Whenever you enter a new (sub-)culture, you have to learn the social norms. Some people have an easier time, others have a harder time. There’s not much advice we can give you, since every culture is different. Some value privacy, others openness and honesty. Some communicate stuff via head nods, others by how far you stand away, and others by pitching the tone of their voices.
You will learn too, but it will take lots of exposure and trying. Some people will dislike you for not understanding, others will be forgiving. How much you should make allowances and whether it makes sense to tell them that you are autistic depends on their specific culture and personalities. So, uh, good luck.
note: (sub-)culture here does not mean only the nation you’re in, but it can change group-to-group. Essentially it’s the vibe that a group has.
Just chill out and talk. If you don’t get stuff, ask. Decent people will explain stuff to you, especially if they know you legitimately struggle with it.
Hmm…ok
You’re doing it. It does not get easier.
Do normal ppl just get stuff? I always have to think about it first
We all think about it. Some just think about thinking about it more
I’m constantly amazed how normal people can be completely oblivious. We all have our strengths and weaknesses I guess.
Relax (as much as possible), the only one that thinks you’re being awkward is you.
I’m assuming you’re in college or college age, which is a time when most young people are on their own for the first time. You’re going to fuck up, and that ok, because this is the time to do it.
When you’re in a social situation, you can try and replace it with a scene in your head, and you’re playing a part. It works for me when I’m trying to speak a second language… I use my ‘radio voice’.
Try not to work yourself up too much, you got delt a shit card growing up and just being there is a huge step.
From my understanding as someone who is also neurodivergent, “normal” people seem to be born with an instruction manual built into their brains that lets them socialize without much trouble. Those of us with autism/ADHD/etc were not born with this instruction manual so we have to figure these things out by trial and error.
I’m 36 years old and still learning some things said or actions can be construed as a faux pas. It helps to run it by a close friend who understands you, like “hey, I want to say this to that person, do you think it would come off weird or is it okay?”
I do that a lot with my partner, and it helps.
