“Man, don’t you know? The law ain’t made to help earthy cats like us. Here on our planet, back in the old days - back in the real old days - it was just every man for himself, scrooblin’ and scrat-scroblin’ for the good stuff, the greenest valleys. And the strongest, meanest men got the best stuff. They got the green valleys and were like ‘The rest of you, y’all scrats get sand.’ And that’s when they made the laws, you see? Once the strong guys got it how they liked it, they said ‘This is fair now, this is the law.’ Once they were winning, they changed the rules up.” —Jake the Dog, Adventure Time, “Ocarina”