Oh I thought I was normal. Turns out baseline is 4/5 and most of last week was spent in 8 only snapped out of by a 2 day
No joke here, I just sincerely hope you can reach out in some manner and speak with anyone you trust, or a professional.
#5 is me since I was about 7.
Haha, yeah as soon as I got to 5 I thought there’s where the baseline has been since childhood.
If you are between a 6-8, and it’s not already a habit for you, go brush your teeth.
I know it probably sounds lame. Like, it’s obviously not a replacement for therapy, and you might think that the advice will be ineffective, is dismissive to your situation, or whatever. But a tiny intentional act of self care can go a long way to making you feel better.
If I hadn’t heard that advice before, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be here to share it. So go brush your teeth and know that I’m rooting for you.
I’m about at a 9, but I learned a long time ago my friends will distance themselves from me if I say anything that might imply the fact.
Those are not your friends then. How are you feeling as of this moment? Is it bearable?
People can only take so much drama from others before they need to distance themselves for their own wellbeing. I feel no distress or fear. Two years of an abusive relationship followed by a high dose of psychedelics burned most of my self-preservation out a year ago. I have a little under a week left unless something changes. I’m quietly getting my affairs in order.
Well for whatever it is worth, I really hope you don’t. I always figured if I got to that point I would pack up, break contact with everyone, leave everything behind and see how things are im Canada, or maybe bum it around Europe. I just figured if everything has gone to shit, nothing’s stopping me from doing whatever I wanted
I was actively at a 6 for many years. A lot of my family used to make fun of me because I would never buy a gun, saying stuff like “oh are you against gun ownership or something?”
It took a lot to not snap at them “no I love guns but if I owned one I know it would one day end up pointed at my temple”
Now I have a girlfriend and while life’s still hard, I don’t have those thoughts anymore. Still won’t buy a gun though
Huh. High point days is a 5, otherwise baseline about 6 through 8.5 (have a list of plans, research, modalities, but haven’t made any steps)
Kinda nice to have a chart that I can point at and go “Yup, I’m here.”
Going from a 9.5 to a 4-5 basically takes going scorched earth on your old life and rebuilding it.
I’m between #5 and #6 my whole life. As far back as I can remember. More often going to #8 lately.