Ladies and gentlemen, the dumbest person on the planet, Donald Trump.
He still wants to annex us.
Canadians, crank up the nastiness a little more.
We were beautiful last week, now we’re nasty. Whatever. This charade is getting crustier than Trump’s toe cheese.
“Hello, is this Canada? I got a vermin infestation in a White House that could use fumigation. Do it like how you did in 1814. It is too far gone to be saved.”
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Let’s show lil’ don how nasty we can be.
Breaking out the Geneva Checklist?
Tell your representatives/Carney to stop cowering, and spending on military vs Russia, and to be more aggressive on winning trade war. Cancel F35s today. Can renegotiate much better later if trade war resolved.
This country is the nastiest skank removed I’ve ever met. Do not trust them.
America has been subsidizing Canada
2024: Canada imports ~$480 billion total from the USA. Divided by 40 million Canadian population, that’s $12,000 for every man, woman, and child spent on American shit.
USA imports ~$586 billion from Canada. Divided by 400 million population, that’s only $1,465 per capita, and that’s only 1/8th of the amount that Canadians bought from the USA in return.
##BUY CANADIAN, BE FAIR!##
You can’t compare apples to apples when one side of the equation has 10 times the population. If we’re trying to be fair, Trumpistan needs to buy 8 times more Canadian shit!
Tariffs on the Canadian side will be reciprocal and will only serve to make us stop buying Murcan shit, leading to an even bigger Trumped-up deficit and the loss of their biggest, best customer. Likely long-term.
Public spanking of Donald is in order. Time to put up Wanted sign for Don.
Haha, good one. Ok you can stop joking now. Guys did-- did you hear me? YOU CAN STOP JOKING NOW GUYS
I just made a comment about this but yeah, it’s always a joke with him until it isn’t.
Can someone please get dementia Donny back to his nursing home please
I’m convinced the guy is literally doing this because of how it would look on a map. He took a look at how big Canada looks (partially due to Mercator) and thought “Wouldn’t it be great if the my country was that big?”
“Nasssty Canada, with its healthcare and reciprocal tariffs!” Krasnov hissed. “It burns us, precious!”
He hunched over in the dim glow of the Oval Office, stroking a golden golf ball in his palms, his eyes darting between it and the maps spread across his desk. “They take advantage of us, yes they do. Always winning, always smug with their free doctor visits and politeness. Weak! But strong! It’s tricksy, so tricksy!”
A cough echoed from the corner. His chief of staff, a weary-looking man with thinning hair, cleared his throat. “Sir, this—uh—this meeting with Prime Minister Trudeau is important. We need to discuss trade.”
Krasnov recoiled, clutching the ball tighter. “Trade?! TRADE?! Filthy free-traders! They cheat us! Steal from us! But we—” He paused, his voice dropping into a desperate whisper. “We could… could take their milk, yes, yes! Their delicious dairy! Make America milky again!”
His chief of staff pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sir, we already produce a lot of milk.”
Krasnov’s face twisted, his fingers tightening around the golf ball like a strangling grip. “No! Canadian milk is special! It’s… socialist milk! It must be destroyed! We put tariffs on it, we crush them, and then we take it for ourselves, yessss!”
A flicker of doubt passed across his face. He shook his head violently, as though fighting himself. “But what if… what if Canada is right?” His voice softened, a pained expression twisting his features. “What if… universal healthcare isn’t nasssty? What if… it’s… good?”
He gasped, stumbling backward, horror-stricken. “No! No, no, no, never! That’s socialism! That’s evil! We hates it!” He flung the golf ball across the room, where it clattered against a bust of Lincoln and rolled onto the carpet.
His chief of staff stared, unsure of what to say.
Krasnov froze, then slowly crawled toward the ball, cradling it again in his hands. “We must punish Canada. Yes, precious. We must make them pay. Or else… or else we lose.”
A long silence followed.
Finally, the chief of staff sighed. “I’ll call the trade representative.”
That’s really well written.
Yep but contains 100% more inner monologue than would ever be recorded in the slow, tremulous sine wave that is Trump’s EEG.
Can we call on Andy Serkis to Narrate this please.
Politically, Canada and California are indistinguishable. The United States with two Californias would look more like Canada than it would the current US.
The GOP cringes every time Trump talks about a 51st state.
I don’t know about indistinguishable. California has some super weird libertarian leanings too.
Lived in California for years. The farther you are from large cities and quality education, the more conservative it gets. Lots and lots of conservative weirdos out in the deserts.
Well, in that regard, it’s like most Canadian provinces or pretty much anywhere else in NA except perhaps a few Bible Belt states
Nasty pasty, pudding and pie
