Teenagers are making that tough transition into adulthood. Unless he absolutely reeks I say let em figure things out. They’re exploring new ideas, and if they’re to be an adult they should be able to make their own decisions (within reason).
What a beta
I mean, most deodorants have heavy metals and aspartame in them. He’s 50% correct in this decision.
Now he just needs to gain some empathy for others and start using something like a Mineral Deodorant Block
They’re cheaper, last 50x as long as normal deodorant sticks, and only need to be applied once generally, even if you sweat during the day.
Vikings were successful with other countries women cuz they did basic hygiene. Shaved, washed, some hair stuff. They ‘conquered’ just from cleanliness. If Vikings aren’t manly enough idk what this kid is on about lol.
successful with other countries women
Didn’t they kidnap and rape them?
With the way historians kept interpreting blatant homosexual relationships through history as just “great friendships” I don’t trust generalizations in any direction. One could def claim that the woman were being kidnapped because no woman would choose to leave all the manly man they knew at home, no no. But it could also have legitimately happened, that many/most were kidnapped and raped, but we might never know for sure. Hell, most of the things we know from the vikings has already been altered way back then by christians rewriting their legends and stories, there’s so much reinterpretation and biases behind written stories about ancient civilizations it’s almost impossible to conclusively say anything about people
Does axe still have those slutty commercials? Show him a bunch of those. Until he’s convinced women will find him irresistible for wearing it. Sure it’s not ideal but it’s better than smelling like BO.
(this is satire) have they tried the drug estrogen, been taking it for 10+ years, it really helps!
(This is satire) If thats your idea of satire, it reads more like a tired hormone ad than a clever jab. time for a prescription refill of real wit.
I actually don’t wear deodorant. I don’t actually sweat that much
I’m genuinely curious what that means. What does it mean to “be manly”? Is it bad to not “be manly”? Along a similar vein, what is the opposite of “being manly”? Who defined the qualities that make a person “manly” (and what authority do they have on the subject)?
Being a stinky dipshit that looks like a yeti is the least manly thing he could do.
Source: I am a man.
A “self-solving problem” could be described as a “self-correcting issue,” “inherently resolving problem,” “naturally resolving situation,” or “auto-remediating issue,” depending on the context, as it implies a problem that has a built-in mechanism to fix itself without external intervention.
I’d only concern yourself with where he’s getting his idea of “manly”. I never questioned my macho, and I’m quite feminine in ways. Maybe it’s just adolescent insecurity?
Here’s the trick to that.
It’s their body, so they have a say in things. Ideally, anything that’s about their body would be their choice, but some stuff just isn’t realistic, like medical decisions as one example.
However, they’re also going to deal with the fallout of such decisions.
A lot of kids, not just boys, go through a phase where they reject the seemingly arbitrary enforcement of hygiene standards.
So, when they make an adult decision, they can deal with adult consequences.
You aren’t required to sit in a car with someone that smells unpleasant. Nor at a dinner table, or on the couch.
Now, if them not using a given product doesn’t cause them to smell bad, there’s zero harm in it, so a parent would be a dick for trying to enforce an unnecessary thing, even by that method. If you’re trying to enforce pointless things, you’re fighting the wrong fight. Believe it or not, deodorants and antiperspirants aren’t the only way to keep oneself from smelling bad, and not using them doesn’t always result in an unpleasant smell. There’s a lot to be said for just bathing daily and giving the pits and crotch a scrub when you’re in the bathroom for other things
However, if they aren’t willing to do what it takes to not stank, remind them that adult choices have different consequences, and that you aren’t obligated to take them places, let them use your vehicle, sit around the dinner table with everyone else, snuggle on the couch for movies, or even sit on the couch at all. You can also enforce that they clean their private spaces (bedroom or other spots that they have where they have an expectation of privacy) more often so that those places don’t start to smell bad either
A stanky adult is quickly going to discover that people don’t want them around when they stank. Might take a while for friends and family to start objecting seriously, but out in the world, it can happen fast.
But respect body autonomy while doing so. It really, truly is something that they need to have. And it’s important to teach them that they should be able to expect body autonomy, even when there are consequences to some of the choices made.
It works. I’ve seen it work dozens of times, because I come from a big extended family that used to spend a lot of time together. Every generation of kids, there’s going to be a handful of them that express their body autonomy like this. Maybe it’s not bathing, maybe it’s deodorant, or hair washing, or a clothing issue. Staying gentle, but not backing down about it, you both keep their trust, and show them that every choice has consequences, even if tiny ones.
My personal phase, it was very effective. My grandmother, if I was smelling rough, would tell me to go wash up as soon as I walked in the door. After the first few times, it was “you know where the washcloths are.” If I didn’t wash, I could bloody well sit outside if the weather was safe. My mom and dad enforced similar boundaries.
Took maybe a couple of days before I got the point, and a couple of weeks before my stubborn ass decided they had a good point, and improved my routine.
Will it absolutely work for everyone, every time? Of course not. But it’s a gentle way that helps foster a sense of self control, of having a say in their life, as they’re needing to explore who they are the most. The key though, is gentle but firm.
You don’t say “you stink, go away” or some shit. You say “washing up is mandatory if you want to sit with the rest of us.” You make it a choice, if a limited one. Give them as many options as possible, too. If they’re objecting to deodorant in specific, maybe offer washing up, or changing clothes if the smell is more from that.
In other words make it about the actual problem rather than them. It isn’t that they’re bad or dumb, or anything else like that. It’s that personal hygiene is important for skin health, and social interactions. They don’t necessarily have to shower to be clean. They don’t have to use deodorant to not smell bad, or to smell good. So present them with alternatives after figuring out why they don’t want that specific method
Not sure if you’re asking for advice, but if appeals to reason doesn’t work “I’m your fucking parent and you’re going to do it or you’re grounded until you do” should work nicely.
Get him to watch the hilarious old spice commercials that were on when I was a kid. Worked for me. That shit is hilariously hyper masculine and funny as fuck.
Most BO comes from the bacteria that grows on the armpit hair after sweating, so while he’d probably have issues with the “manliness” of this suggestion, if he just shaves his armpit hair it’ll take a bit longer for the BO to develop. As long as he’s showering regularly, that is…
But it’d probably be better to just tell him that cleanliness and showing that you have personal hygiene (by washing regularly and using deodorant) is most definitely manly. Having BO doesn’t make him manly, cause I’ve got news for him: women have BO too.
Ah, shaving your armpits, another hallmark of classic manliness.
Yeah, but shaving your armpits is gay AF
What is manlier than scraping 1-7 blades across your skin?
Ripping the hairs out one at a time
Burning them off with a laser?
Of course, then smear it with some Tabasco
He doesn’t shave either and he’s hairy which is probably why even though he showers everyday he still smells.
That’s not gonna change. I’m like that, and at 43, it’s still an issue. Grooming and cleanliness are just good habits to build.
When he joins the working world, does he think his employer will put up with his BO? Ask him how he plans to stay “manly” when he’s unemployed.
My experience with stinky coworkers was always telling there boss “hey can you talk to so-and-so? He smells like rancid asshole”. Those conversations never took place and I couldn’t stand to be around the stinky individual to help them learn to do their job so they’d inevitably end up failing and getting fired for performance. I guess the problem solved itself but they got a good few months out of the job before that happened.
Ask him how he plans to stay “manly” when he’s unemployed
Not all teenagers think rationally. Depending on how “rebellious” this one is, they may not care to consider such a thing as it’s a “future me” problem.
Probably better to ask him how he’ll handle his peers and potential crushes actively avoiding him because of how bad he smells. Teens usually care more about peer approval than anything else.
