Not just download the app, but sign up for an account (and the newsletter in the process).

Then grant permissions to your phone:

• camera (so it can watch you poop and train + analyze the footage with AI)
• microphone (so it can hear and analyze if your plops are optimal)
• contacts (to send out an invitation to all your contacts, along with a clip of your last poop sesh)
• photos and videos (to upload, store, and analyze your life since birth, along with everyone else who’s in your pictures)
• sensors (to see how you’re holding the phone, when, how much, how hard, etc.)
• notifications (to sell you the premium plan)
• location (for pinpoint accuracy of your 💩 locations)
• call logs (to see who you’re communicating with before, during, and after you drop your log)
• nearby devices (for accuracy and to silently notify with nearby devices)
• calendar (for full history and to schedule your next mondo duke)