• Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      arrow-down
      11
      ·
      2 months ago

      With you in principle and updooted you, but:

      That one was A) a joke and B) a joke about shaming those unwilling to learn for not being willing to learn. Not about shaming them into being better in any way. What do you think I am, a Catholic parent?

      • angrystego@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        arrow-down
        5
        ·
        2 months ago

        I’d argue that people are not obligated to learn. If they don’t want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them. Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do. There’s no reason to be hostile about it.

        • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          8
          arrow-down
          7
          ·
          1 month ago

          I’d argue that people are not obligated to learn

          I mean technically being selfish isn’t illegal… Still better for everyone if they aren’t, though 🤷

          If they don’t want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them.

          Except for the fact that the next one along is gonna get bad sex too. A lover is like a public park: when you’re done using it, the polite thing is to leave it as good or better than when you arrived.

          Don’t push them to do something they don’t want to do.

          Unlike the OP, I’m advocating for constructive criticism and pointers. That’s not pushing. That’s nudging at most.

          There’s no reason to be hostile about it.

          If you think giving helpful advice on how you can better please someone in bed, in stead of pretending that they’re already a champion, is hostile behavior, that’s a YOU problem…

          • angrystego@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            8
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            1 month ago

            Laughing at someone is hostile. Parting ways amicably is much better. I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don’t want to do in bed. Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner. People have different tastes in sexual stuff. It’s necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences. It’s ok if someone doesn’t want to do some stuff in bed.

            • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              4
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              1 month ago

              Laughing at someone is hostile

              As I made clear in another comment, that part was a joke. As in I didn’t mean it. I don’t endorse body shaming, even if someone’s a selfish lover lol

              Parting ways amicably is much better.

              Yeah, obviously.

              I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don’t want to do in bed

              Nobody’s suggesting that. Can we do this without the strawmen, please?

              Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner.

              Sure, but some things work for more than one person. Such as being open to suggestions of how to improve. Which needs to be a two-way street and voluntary, of course.

              People have different tastes in sexual stuff.

              You don’t say?

              It’s necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences

              Of course. That’s what I’m advocating for.

              It’s ok if someone doesn’t want to do some stuff in bed.

              Again, I never said to force anyone to do anything. I meant something along the lines of “X isn’t really working for me, could you try Y?” or “I really like X, is that something you’re into?”, NOT “do X or get out!”

      • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 months ago

        Nah, I just wanted to make sure it was obvious to others that part was a joke. I updooted you in a comment you made lower in the comments. I figured you were a person with good intent making a comment involving passion. Something I direly need to learn from. Controlling my responses hasn’t always been great. As for the Catholics, I can’t speak much of anything about them I suppose anymore. I left their following more than 20 years ago now, and I hope they grow better as I don’t think they are going to disappear any time soon. I also need to give up drinking, but for sake of words, I say let’s drink to a better future.