Fundamental attribution error. Wanting something to happen ≠ believing it should happen. When wanting becomes believing, you are fucked.
Too many people think that the world should bend the laws of reality to conform to their ideas. Gamblers are the prime example. They take something solvable by pure math and completely discard the solution, opting for a solution based on their wants instead of reality.
I think you’re conflating a fundamental attribution error with a some other cognitive bias.
The fundamental attribution error refers to an individual’s tendency to attribute another’s actions to their character or personality, while attributing their behavior to external situational factors outside of their control. In other words, you tend to cut yourself a break while holding others 100 percent accountable for their actions.
https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/the-fundamental-attribution-error
I like how fundamental attribution error sounds so that’s how I called it
cellar door is apparently the most beautiful phrase in the english language but that’s not what you described either.
I’m going to M A N I F E S T my problems away!
It is amazing to me that millions of idiots whole heartedly believe in some variant of magic/placebo/prayer/astrology, some very slightly different version of it becomes popular when someone figures out some new lingo that sounds neat, and can lie convincingly in a video.
I JUST GOT OUT OF THE POOL!!!
Chrome is a browser. Google is a website. They are not the same. It flabbergasts me anytime I find out that someone I know doesn’t know what a browser is.
That the “give heroine to pregnant women and cigs to kids” era of the 18-1900s is the same as the “artificial food additives and lab grown meat” of today
That if you are not paying for a product, you are the product. If a product you love is free, and/or you use it because it’s free, think of what you are paying for it with.
Yup, it’s all “license that can be revoked at any time” bs.
think
I suspect that’s the blocker right there:-|
Even if you are paying for a product, you may be another income stream. You pay for a smart watch/home assistant/email/VPN and they use your data. Not all but enough people need to be aware of. Sadly It’s pretty much now deciding on who gets your data. Or trusting that they really are not taking your data, trust them, they say they are not!
That you should never use the same password for more than one site, especially some random Chinese eshop. I don’t get why people refuse to use password managers, ffs…
That a whole foods plant-based diet is healthier and better the environment and yet people do their utmost to refuse to learn more about it.
It’s not so much that people don’t want to learn about it. It’s more so that they don’t want to be told/believe. Another factor IMO, is that they can’t understand it, so they won’t believe it. And you can’t force people to understand something. It takes time. Think back to your days in school. Think about your favorite teacher. How did they teach you about something you had no idea about? Did they start to become unglued when you didn’t understand what they were talking about? Did they tell you to just believe it because it’s true?
i belive and i understand, i just don’t care
That reality is not defined by our wishes, but by observable, verifiable facts.
Sadly, a large amount of people cannot accept this.
Reality is what you can’t turn away from.
Reality is that which continues to exist when you stop believing in it.
Quantum mechanics would like a word…
People in developed worlds live such comfortable lives, we start to feel entitled to things. Like “genocide should not happen”… okay then, so how about investing some effort to stop it instead of just talking through our mouth holes about it?
One for the USA: we know how the electoral college works, and especially now with WFH many people could live anywhere, so will we go somewhere to flip districts, in order to both stop genocide (at least the Russian variety, and maybe Chinese, if not also Israeli; but the other side wants to do more genocide not less) and also preserve rights for women, and minorities and every other thing we claim to value?
Answer: no, at least so far we have not. It is not so easy or simple… and I don’t blame anyone especially women of child bearing age for not wanting to move to a place that could be dangerous. BUT then in that case we need to accept the consequences of our choices, and that’s the part I almost never see, especially on social media.
If you are advocating for people to uproot their lives from their communities, friends, family, and every other connection they have to where they live – for political reasons – I would argue that’s a very bad idea. I think it would ruin society.
Fwiw, I agree with you. I even tried it myself personally, but then moved back into a city. So I understand what you are saying, believe me I do. All I meant is that we need to see clearly as we move forward, and that means questioning our own biases and preconceptions, so that we can accurately chart out a course forward that does not fall again in the same old traps, e.g. that HRC fell into by not bothering to campaign in the midwestern states (Obama likewise ignored rural in favor of urban areas, though in his case it seems more defensible since many racists were never going to vote for him regardless of his platform or activities?).
“Lemons”? Is that “Lemmys gone sour”?
Time to start /c/LemonParty as a replacement for /r/gonewild
NSFLemmy
What have I started?
Not voting doesn’t stop an election.
Due process. Freaking due process. Or the scientific method or whatever you want to call it.
What do I mean to be implied by saying this? Suppose you encounter a situation where accusations are thrown around. Normally this starts by asking what the claim is before talking further about what is wrong with the action in question plus what separates it from hearsay. You might consult testimony/proofs/cross-examination for this, with some of this being more defining/damning than others. Things like you’d see in 12 Angry Men, like “you just said X when you’re now saying Y”, “what makes this indication of what happened, inarguable enough to not be found within reasonable doubt”, and “you have all this testimony on one hand and the physical remnants telling us another thing”.
In short, it’s supposed to be instinctual that what people want to do is to mark the truth via scrutiny when it would otherwise blend in with everything else.
Alright, so you might be asking what I mean when I say this as my answer. The pen being mightier than the sword is not an idiom that anyone should have to say, but seldom has someone here ever had any issue randomly walking up to a crowd and making damning remarks about someone they don’t like and instantly denting another individual in ways that should matter. Relatedly, someone might have what they insist is solid indication of something but isn’t for the very fact that it’s arguable and leaves room for doubt.
I’ve seen an individual in particular do this, they go up to people and say “this person is a pedo”, they then go up to another crowd, same thing, they say “this person is a pedo”. Usually it has some super long elaboration too, complete with a mixture of things without solid indicators, things with no indicators, and actions which were already compensated for years ago. People in charge typically know better, but the common people have this idea in their mind that “this is a damning claim, logically it wouldn’t exist for no reason”, like have you ever seen a spiteful ex before? I myself am an arguable victim of this, chronically on numerous occasions, in all spheres of life, being unable to do so much as engage in hobbies without the paparazzi wannabe we know as the human populace chiming in. Sometimes they’ll even pull the “well then prove the rumors are false” card which requires that you can prove a negative (which would make it not a negative in the first place). The social equivalent of chopping down trees so that I have to walk over them while walking on a path, hoping one day maybe a branch will jab me or something.
One day a few of us asked about this and the response every time was “it’s human nature to forego due process if someone can sense due process would be dishonorable”, and that was one of the last straws that led to my misanthropy and the fact that, in a profound way, I detest the very essence of humanity, and why I often contrast neurodivergence with human nature, because it’s often those of us who are neurodivergent who are considered as having the lesser states of mind. I beg to differ, we’re not the ones who are showing how profoundly self-defeating we are. One might say I’ve even self-reflected months at a time just to contemplate if maybe I was the asshole. I’m sure I am the asshole sometimes, but that doesn’t mean a learned person cannot see the holes. And people wonder why I feel sorry for the ultra stigmatized.
You might find it fascinating to watch The Alt Right Playbook by Innuendo Studios on YouTube. It just might change your life. It’s not fully about politics so much as, much more importantly, the method of discourse that has somehow become popular in the Western world, as many right-wing groups worldwide have started to use it and it has permeated our entire culture.
Does all that come with instructions on what if the other side starts spinning it and making the case that you’re operating by this MO?
I believe it does:-).
Where?
One is The Reverse Gish Gallop and another is The Card Says Moops, though the latter is a significantly longer journey.
If you haven’t watched (or its been a minute since), I would start from the first one in the series bc it builds so nicely and foundationally:-).
This is a lot for me to comprehend, but as for people randomly calling people a pedo is mind-boggling and down right gaslighting. Unfortunately I’ve had an experience of this myself, recently, just for making jokes with friends around my age. It wasn’t my friends who were calling me a pedo or anything, but rather third parties who didn’t like what they saw and slapped an ominous name on it, tried to build up accusations, and started misinterpreting pretty much everything.
Mind you, I am a 17M. I don’t like children like that, it’s fucking disgusting. I am scared shitless to turn 18, am afraid to even consentingly joke around with my friends. I’m scared shitless to even get a relationship at all because of this and I’m afraid of false accusations from completely (hidden, or those who have grown to be) psycopaths. I’m afraid of human interaction, because I know these claims are nothing but baseless, but the problem is people eat that anyway and throw people the consequences they shit out.
Also, these same people accusing me of being a pedo and a creep, are no more than 15 years old AND fetishizing men well over 20 years old “impregnating” them. It’s disgusting, scary, projection, and worrisome to say the least. Shit like this makes me have no hope for society, I’m not sure how much longer I can stand to live in it.
Just be genuine and I think you’ll be okay. I mean you never know - some people used to roam around and string people up on trees to hang them, sometimes fairly at random even (so long as they had a certain ethnicity or immigration status or whatever) - but all you can control is yourself so don’t focus overmuch on what is beyond that.
Also I believe that the literal, legal definition of pedo (or whatever, “statutory rape” I guess? I’m not searching for that term right now!:-P) excludes people who are 18 dating someone who is 17. It would be different if you were 20 dating a 15-year-old, but in general once you move past high school just don’t go back and I think you’d be fine?
Also children (even at 15 years old… and sadly also at 50) are going to play regardless, and that means slinging words around that they don’t mean, or necessarily even know what the definitions are. Just don’t be a pedo, and then even if they accuse you, there’s nothing there to justify it so you should (fingers crossed) be fine?
I may only dream of such a world where it was that simple. Some would say one’s will and inspiration to frame an individual suffices as a foundation. To use a metaphor, it’s a very Corenlius-Evazan-esque situation but without a jedi to retaliate and with the whole bar (representing the known world) in on it. The stigma is also contagious in a way, the few people who see things for what they are being lumped in with me, often not even intentionally. The suspicion for me was always pre-existing, based on trivial things about me that brought to mind misconceptions, and it just possesses new forms it seems, no matter how collateral, never shrinking because it takes a self-feeding form. Sometimes it’s like the minds of the world have been hacked because one minute I might be explaining such a thing to them and being told I’m being agreed with, and the next, they’re being confronted by an antagonizer who barely says two words to them about the conspiracy theory of what I’ve done that I just got done alluding to as what it is, even involving positions of authority on occasion, and suddenly they’ve been wololo’d. So avoiding fulfilling the object of their fears does little to quell anything.
Appreciate it. That’s the thing though, have to keep fingers crossed, shit could still happen. We have seen what cancel culture has done to people of all groups when being falsely accused.
Angry reactions is a good example recently. It’s been years since I watched the dude, because I dont use tiktok anymore, deleted the app and my account years ago, but genuinely he was a funny and wholesome guy.
When the drama started, I stated that it was important to take both sides seriously, wait for facts and evidence to come out, and not just instantly side with one. I’m not gonna debate which one’s worse, but sexual assault is wrong and damaging to someone’s life, but so is the accusation of it. People forget that, and hell, I think it’s another thing that seems so obvious that people are just so ignorant of.
When it came out that he was indeed innocent, and the accuser admitted to making up some B.S., the damage was done, his reputation already went down the gutter, and that’s gonna sting.
With this only growing to be more common, this is the type of shit that I’m just scared of. Even when you were PROVEN to be innocent, your life is still ruined. That’s what makes me not to touch any relationships or even interacting with “children” MY AGE anymore with a 500 mile radius.
I don’t want any silver of possibility of being put into that position where I get falsely accused, and if I do, it’s (hopefully) clear that it’s not possible. Call it trust issues or whatever, but I hate risks, and at this rate having relationships of any kind is fucking risky.
Yes but, if you will pardon the doom speech: climate change is going to kill us all? So like, don’t worry about what you cannot control. Yes keep it in mind. Yes do what you can. But if you can’t do anything, then why lose sleep over it? Every single black person that has ever lived in America has experienced this, and the vast, VAST majority of women in the past. Also most immigrants - legal or otherwise - too.
I am making it sound like I am telling you what to do, but to rephrase, I am just hoping to offer this different perspective?
Fwiw, I think you have a good idea to beware of it, b/c an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as they say. Some super well-known people in the past, for reasons of their religion, have decided to not ever be alone with a woman (except their wife or daughters). This sounds like some Muslim bullshit… but actually in their case it has more than a tiny bit of merit. They have even declined the services of taxi / uber drivers if they are women - like WTF? On the other hand, how many evangelical church pastors can you think of that have been accused of, even outright proven (or like admitted it later) to have had sexual relations with someone that they should not have? I don’t even mean outside of their marriages, but in a conflict-of-interest scenario (like a therapist and their client) where the person is in their congregation. Isn’t it close to 100%? Okay probably not, but it does seem that way sometimes. Some teachers will likewise refuse to allow their office doors to be closed if a young woman student is in there with them. So go for it - stay safe, indeed. Just I hope you find your inner peace also as you do so:-). And maybe some of these practices can help with that, by providing both protection from accusations and thereby that peace of mind that the protection exists?
It sounds like your really understand. Thank you, I really needed this. I wish you the best of things in life!
Not at all - I’ve never faced that particular scenario, being more focused on college at that time in my life and also you have shown me that some things have really changed - but I do hope that mulling over this different perspective will help as you move forward:-).
Ah, gotcha. Sometimes hearing out another person’s idea’s is really helpful. I’ll try my absolute best.
Sugar is bad for you. Fruit is unnecessary.
Fat is good for you.
This is so oversimplified as to be meaningless
This guy has scurvy ☝️
Broccoli, kale, cauliflower, all rich in vitamin C. You don’t need fruits.
We should live more instead of wasting time at work but we can’t because we’re forced to get income to live
Exactly. I’ve heard a “counter-argument” to this saying “I need to keep myself busy, I need to work.” Why not be able to optionally work more?
I’d love to work in areas, communities and industries which don’t have the resources to usually pay for professional skills. Just gotta detach from the time waste of getting salary to live first.
Russia will not stop warring if Ukraine surrenders. Russia’s war will stretch to every corner of the earth.
