• _bcron_@lemmy.world
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    17 days ago

    Weird screenplay showerthought: Guy’s dinner plans fall through, decides to have a couple brandys at the bar and drunkenly responds to a spam email which turns out to be legit, responds to even more, every single spam email is legit, and ends up traveling the world in order to help a cabal of disenfranchised Nigerian princes recover 28 billion dollars from a Pakistani street gang full of tech-savvy hackers with samurai swords and really fast street bikes. Obviously starring Nicolas Cage

    • veroxii@aussie.zone
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      17 days ago

      If you email this to mr Cage there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll go for it. 100% chance if it ends up in his spam folder but he somehow still comes across it.

    • herrcaptain@lemmy.ca
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      17 days ago

      I would legitimately love to see this. Sounds like a bit of a Forest Gump vibe, and your choice of Nicolas Cage feels perfect for this role.

      • _bcron_@lemmy.world
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        17 days ago

        I’m bored at work so here’s a sequel and yes I want to see something like this happen lol:

        Nic Cage is relaxing on a beach, gets a call from the top dog Nigerian Prince (Samuel L Jackson), apparently the Pakistani street gang is back and they’re aiming for a huge ransomware attack on the US Treasury in order to steal all the gold from Fort Knox.

        Only North Korea has hackers skilled enough to decrypt such powerful ransomware, but in order to earn Kim Jong Un’s trust, he needs to acquire a wheel of the world’s most aged parmesan.

        It’s in that artic vault full of seeds (“I suppose if you’re repopulating the Earth’s flora you’re gonna need a snack”). They spoof the IP at the seed storage so the Pakistani street gang thinks they finally found the gates to Fort Knox and opens it, at which point they discover that the street gang is actually Google (hence having all the Nigerian prince emails hitting the spam folder after Google robbed them).

        Kim Jong Un gets the cheese, North Korean hackers decrypt all the US money, all of it, because it’s apparently one big file in plaintext (Samuel L Jackson: cackles and says “I’ve heard some shit in my day but you’re the dumbest motherfuckers I’ve ever met” Cage: “You’re just now realizing this?”).