Never had it, probably never will. So I’m curious.

(If the question isn’t allowed, which I don’t think is, for some reason I’ll delete the post)

Thank you.

  • Platypus@lemmings.worldOP
    0·
    27 days ago

    Nah I’m complete and functional (physically speaking). I’m just a failed adult, and that’s on the center, my core. It cannot change and in a way, I don’t want to change it.

    • MTK@lemmy.world
      0·
      27 days ago

      Don’t be so harsh on yourself, everyone has good qualities, try to think of yours every now and again

            • aStonedSanta@lemm.ee
              0·
              26 days ago

              You are on the internet. You have access to more knowledge than anyone else before you. Stop self hating and start fixing yourself.

              • Platypus@lemmings.worldOP
                0·
                26 days ago

                Anything free in this country is worth nothing for the jobs I could qualify in theory. And again, this is not fixable, this is just me. Reading how to cook out or how to code (since this is seems the average thing people tell you) is worth zero for someone like me.

            • IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world
              0·
              26 days ago

              Plenty of good qualities don’t cost a dime.

              Edit: and you are totally capable. It’s just going to take effort, which, judging from your replies, you don’t want to put in. Can’t help with that part.

    • Breve@pawb.social
      0·
      27 days ago

      I mean this in the kindest way possible: I think you need some mental health support. Failure isn’t something you are, it’s merely something that happens and it happens to the best of us. You can always change, but it takes some effort and the will to change. Having more self-esteem will really help you find the type of sexual relationship you seem to be seeking.

      • Platypus@lemmings.worldOP
        0·
        26 days ago

        I’m sorry but I really can’t. I’m too old and weird for it, plus I don’t feel like changing, it would be like erasing myself, I’m not a bad person, but if nobody wants me then I’m screwed because that undesired individual is me and no one else.

        • Breve@pawb.social
          0·
          26 days ago

          I promise you there are older and weirder people in the world who can still find love and fulfillment. Yeah it might be harder, but it is still possible. The most important step is to take care of yourself first. Seriously, look into therapy or support groups. You are not alone in this struggle.

        • IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world
          0·
          26 days ago

          Changing yourself is not erasing yourself. It’s improving yourself. ‘Old and weird’? Nah, I got lots of old weirdos that are an absolute delight in my life.

          Okay, you’re not a bad person. How is someone supposed to know that? What do you do? Tell me about yourself, but don’t say stuff about what you are. Tell me what you do. 3 things.

          Chances are the more you do, the more you’ll find yourself around people that will find what you do desirable.

    • IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world
      0·
      27 days ago

      I responded elsewhere as well, but I want to say this here too: you clearly have some issues, and it can be really hard to deal with that when you’re not in a good mental or financial place, but I encourage you to find a way.

      Pick something. Anything at all, that you are interested in learning or doing and google it. Learn a skill. You’re worth the time it takes. Start working towards a way to be a success on something. Anything. Learn to be a good cook. Learn to code. Learn to juggle (admittedly less helpful in the real world, but at least interesting). It doesn’t matter what but start working some kind of improvement. When I was a baby, I couldn’t do anything for myself, but turns out if you do something enough times you learn anyway.

      This isn’t about the sex thing. It’s about you feeling stuck and unable to move forward. It’s about you feeling like a failure and being mad at yourself for feeling that way. Your brain will resist change. Kill the part of you that refuses change before it kills you.

      You don’t have to sit stagnant even if it feels helpless. I promise that by doing something, anything, you’ll start to feel a tiny bit better week over week. And some day, you’ll look back on this question and know the answer (assuming that’s a goal of yours).

      • Platypus@lemmings.worldOP
        0·
        26 days ago

        Is not really a goal. I’m already giving up in things that I liked because I can do them anyways and doing silly things just to “be successful at something” if I don’t have an almost instant gratification I will give up. Because I’m not wired like you, I just can’t work for something just for self improvement.

        I’m already giving up on trying to drive a car. I’m done.

        • IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world
          0·
          26 days ago

          I’ll say it again. Kill the part of yourself that resists change or it will kill you.

          I have AuADHD. Executive dysfunction so bad I will look at clothes next to the laundry basket and say “those go in the basket” and then walk away. Then do it again 10 more times in the next half hour. I get it. I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s very much not. But you gotta walk away from your learned helplessness or nothing will ever change.

          My point before was that small steps are still steps. Most skills are learned in tiny increments. You won’t be able to look back and see progress for a bit. That doesn’t mean there’s no progress. If your goal is to feel bad for yourself you’re succeeding. But if it’s to become a functioning adult then you gotta start somewhere sometime. Yesterday was the best time to start but today is the second best.