themeatbridge

Also, they’re making your food. Show a little gratitude.

Kamala is polling worse than Biden. Is she really your best option?

Tell me your plan. How is she going to turn it around between now and November? What can Kamala do that Biden can’t? How is she going to avoid the appearance that the Democrats don’t care what their primary voters think?

Kamala is already in the race. What could she do at the top of the ticket that she can’t do now?

And if it’s not Harris, then who? Give me a name, and then answer all of those questions for that person.

I would vote for anyone opposite Trump.

I don’t believe that a plurality of voters would vote for anyone opposite Trump. I’m not narcissistic enough to think everyone thinks like me. I recognize that most voters don’t follow politics, don’t engage with the news, and don’t really care much about learning who the candidates are.

The most important factor for all elections everywhere is name recognition. People want to feel like they know what they’re doing, even if they have made zero effort to engage in the process.

It is far too late for anyone other than Biden to introduce themselves to America.

Trump doesn’t need to convince people to vote for him. His acolytes will show up to vote. Trump just needs to convince everyone who won’t vote for him that it’s pointless to go to the polls. One neat little gift the DNC could give to Trump would be to say to all Democrats that their primaries don’t matter and there’s no reason to vote. Annointing a new candidate now, after people have cast their votes, would be a giant fuck you to every voter who has been screaming for better candidates over the last 6 years. Nothing will kill enthusiasm for voting quicker than passing the buck to someone new.

And let’s say they do pick someone else. They haven’t been vetted or tested. They haven’t campaigned in any states. They haven’t built the infrastructure or donor network or legal team. What if the new candidate has a scandal? Does the party hand the baton to yet another candidate? Should we leave the ballots blank? Do like a MLB trade, where we all vote for “A candidate to be named at a later date.”

Like it or not, we are stuck with Biden for this one. February 1st, we can all start talking about if he should step down, who should be Harris’ VP, whether the Dems have someone that can win in 2028, etc.

I’m curious, though, who is your candidate? You get to hand pick the name on the ballot across from Trump, who is it? Whitmer or Newsom? Buttigieg or Shapiro? If they are so great, why aren’t you calling to replace Harris on the ticket? I mean, that’s the stronger play, right? If you wanted Harris, you could just argue that a vote for Biden is a vote for Harris, because he’s really old and can resign as soon as he is sworn in. That’s the best of both strategies.

But it’s not Harris. So why not replace her on the ballot with your dream candidate? It solves the primary problem, since people were casting votes for Biden, and he’s still on the ballot. Plus, then the new person can introduce themselves to America, and Harris can retire to write her book.

Extremely sad. But that’s still the standard, which is why I’m still voting for Biden. Maybe after the election, and Trump and his cronies are actually behind bars, we can worry about 2026 and electing some actual progressive leaders. But the puppet masters behind Trump, the Project 2025 dipshits, they’re not going to go away quietly. Fascists never do.

I’m so tired of people trying to get famous by dunking on Biden.

Is he old? Yes. Out of touch? Yes. Does he misspeak? Frequently. Is he publicly supporting Israel while Netanyahu engages in human rights atrocities and crimes against humanity? Also yes. Is Biden a centrist oligarch who represents a status quo continuation of the devout capitalist policies that are rapidly destroying the world? Sure.

But he’s still better than Trump. And he’s the best chance we have at defeating Trump. America can survive a second Biden presidency. We will have a lot of work to do, but it will be worth doing. The USA will not survive another Trump presidency. It will be the end of the experiment, and the beginning of a whole new nightmare.

So Biden must win.

To that end, I have a modest proposal for the armchair pundits on Xitter, all the comics and authors and panelists hoping to make it to the next cable news roundtable as a contributor. When Biden does the next stupid thing, makes the next gaffe, fucks up again (Jesus fuck, did he say he’s a minority woman?), whatever, whenever you come up with that perfect burn, the clever observation that is going to go viral and get eyes on your name, feel free to share it. Biden is not King, regardless of what the SCOTUS* would have us believe, so he is not immune to criticism. But when you post it, include the addendum “But I’m still voting for him, because Trump would be worse.” Make it part of your signature, or shorten it to BISVFH to conserve characters.

Doing this will help all the rest of us reading your comments, so we don’t feel the need to explain to you why you should still vote for Biden. It will also help us more quickly identify the foreign agents and online trolls who exist to stir up discord and assist Trump.

Biden sucks. He really does. But I’m still voting for him, because Trump would be worse.

Or that app for tracking household expenses.

I love the juxtaposition of these:

During the Pascal-B nuclear test of August 1957, a 900-kilogram (2,000 lb) iron lid was welded over the borehole to contain the nuclear blast, despite Brownlee predicting that it would not work.

A high-speed camera, which took one frame per millisecond, was focused on the borehole because studying the velocity of the plate was deemed scientifically interesting.

This idea is so incredibly stupid that science needs to study precisely how much it won’t work.

Like, I wonder if the person who insisted on welding the lid in place had to go to a debriefing meeting where Brownlee showed the frame-by-frame of the lid. “So here we see the lid, and- Oh, it’s gone! Look at that. Gary, did you see it? The lid you put on there to cOnTaIn ThE bLaSt, you can see it for one thousandth of a second, and then it’s gone. It’s either in outerspace or it has been vaporized, and we’re never going to know because it happened so fast. So fast, Gary. A for effort, though. It was definitely worth bringing in the crane and a whole welding crew. Time and money well spent, because we now have a better understanding of the magnitude of how stupid you are, Gary. Here’s a print of that one millisecond for you to hang in your office. Get fucked, Gary.”

I’d love to see a Galaxy Quest: TNG tv show, but we already had the Orville.

This is why traffic sucks. Super highways don’t reduce traffic, they create it.

And those flags stood for something. They stood for values, quality, and an uncompromising sense of style. Those flags stood for Old Navy. Where patriotic consumerism doesn’t have to cost a fortune.

Trump has already been convicted of felonies.

People were going to rip her for whatever she said. That’s politics. Welcome to professional politics.

I agree that Trump’s campaign seemed surprised to be doing as well as it was, but part of that was the DNC and Hillary pushing all the attention on him because they thought he was a clown making Republicans look bad. If that’s not the miscalculation of the century, I don’t know what beats it.

Spotify suggested a bedtime playlist with Elin and the Lullaby Orchestra. They are from Norway. Their albums will put your kids to sleep, but It Came from the Universe to my Landing Pad slaps. That song legitimately deserves a hair metal/glam rock cover.

Let me put it this way, it will do exactly what it is supposed to do.

Hey, I like your optimism, assuming we’ll still be here in a few decades.

I agree with you that it wasn’t a cakewalk, but the problem was she treated it like a cakewalk. She assumed she had it locked up, and ignored all polling that didn’t support her landslide victory. She punished downticket candidates who didn’t bend the knee by skipping their districts in places like Wisconsin and Michigan, because she assumed people would show up for her.

She ran a terrible campaign, kowtowing to the worst attacks, thinking it was politics as usual, acting like she was above the fray while she was face down in the mud getting stomped on.

She should have gone on the offensive. She should have presented a vision for a better America. She failed us all, and for that she deserves as much scorn as we can conjure.

One guy thought Trump had a chance. Ome guy kept saying that Trump was going to beat Hillary, and we needed a better strategy than hers.

All Americans understand that. It doesn’t change the idiomatic implication of the word choice. That’s why it’s funny. Nobody is actually confused.

I’m sure it’s just an idiomatic translation issue, but saying it was “on sale,” to Americans, makes it sound like it was being advertised as a discount.

Edit: Just noticed the downvotes. The fuck is that about?

I know, that’s why I said it’s entirely different.

But also, we don’t know exactly how time dilation works. We know it does, because it makes sense mathematically and we have experienced it in applications, but we don’t really know how it works.