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Cake day: July 16th, 2023

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  • Project 2025 wants to disband NOAA and give its functions to Accuweather instead, directing taxpayer funding to a private company while also locking all weather data behind a paywall, so they get paid twice to provide the same info NOAA currently provides with a single payment (taxpayer funding). The Accuweather founder, Joel Myers, and his brother, Billy Lee Myers (unsuccessfully nominated by Trump to be the head of NOAA), are major Republican donors, but I’m sure that is completely coincidental.


  • Ok, hear me out. The hull number is for the USS Enterprise (CVN-65), which was deactivated in 2012. After that, instead of decommissioning, Elon Musk decides he needs a private military and hires Erik Prince to set it up. He buys the still-intact Enterprise, gets it modified the way he wants it, and sends it to Brazil to force X/Twitter back into service there. Full of Blackwater/Xe mercenaries, meth and coke are distributed to all personnel as daily rations. Fueled by the success of their first mission (and lots of drugs and alcohol), the bastard craft took to the high seas. It resembled a mobile party now, but a heavily-armed party. They looted, they raided, they held whole cities to ransom for fresh supplies of cheese, crackers, guacamole, spare ribs and wine and spirits that now get piped aboard from floating tankers.