I never realized his waistband had elastic before.

A hundred percent. I love alone time and I know exactly what kind of socializing I’m up for, so I’d be an easy person for me to spend time with. I have the same interests as me and the same taste in food too. It would be cool to go get a pedi together and then get a bit day drunk (or day buzzed, anyway).

I actually love this idea. How make happen?

I committed to sleeping in a silk bonnet every night, and my hair is so much nicer now :)

You thinking EDS?

Or took AZO.

Agreed, but it’s lox :)

Don’t forget the capers!

Oh my god I forgot all about Mallory Ortberg’s interpretations of monk paintings! I used to love these.

Unrelated but she once wrote something like “everyone knows that to properly make a bed, you need to circle it like a shark” and the truth of that has stuck with me ever since. Why is my brain like this haha

Imagine giving birth to that.

I mean, duh. Baked beans are stupidly sweet.

I wore a Blossom hat to school. I had just started junior high and it was like the third day of the school year. I had this brand new crushed velvet hat with little pink rosebuds and I was so excited to wear it. I paired it with a satin floral vest, a pink turtleneck, and a pair of stirrup pants, as was the style at the time, and strutted into school knowing I was stylin’.

I had no idea there was a rule against hats, and in homeroom, in front of everyone, my battleaxe of a homeroom teacher yelled at me: “Who told you you could wear a hat?!” To which little timid me said “… my mom?” And she yelled “You know you’re not allowed to wear hats in school, take that off right now! I don’t want to see it again!” And I almost fucking cried.

Thanks for embarrassing me in front of everyone, Mrs. DeFilippo.

I actually love that because you can add your own color with paint, throw rugs, furniture, etc. It allows you to start from a blank canvas.

For contrast, my parents’ house has one bathroom with a mustard yellow toilet and yellow-and-white floor tile, and another bathroom with an avocado green toilet and matching shower enclosure. These were put in by the previous owner and date back to the '70s. They’re in perfectly good shape, so my folks don’t want to replace them, but it does force them to decorate those rooms with complementing colors, and they will never not look dated.

Agreed, but if it said “Make it so” I’d totally be on board.

If you like making love at midnight

Sitar!

Make it look like they’re sweating and watch as their shitty Just For Men dyejob runs…

I fucking love her energy haha

Do you really think Trump knows non-capital letters exist?

What the almighty fuck.

My arms are pretty flexible so I just use my hands & a washcloth.

And a hairnet?!