Trump describing Elon’s rockets like he was a toddler on Christmas had me crawling in my skin

More than anything I’m depressed by the precedent that this sets for the world on attitude and actions. He literally attacked and abused his way to the top. And a majority of Americans support it. Holy fuck.

Finally the answer to my car proble- oh never mind.

No idea what bequeath means but it sounds badass so I support this

On an unrelated note, the paper shredder is out of service indefinitely.

Ah shit I applied for that role

I feel like there’s not a single person Elon’s comparisons would make sense to

I tried

Wait you’re onto spending

JESUS IS THE RAPTURE

COMING WILL HAPPEN ON 9-18-24

sigh… if you insist

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The first bit of pay to win verification and impersonation was the most hilarious part of Elon’s Twitter.

Deleted my account after that.

Top 10 phrases ever uttered

I miss that ancient artifact that is plastic bags

“The driver will not knock, so make sure you are looking out the window and prepared for the 4 second timeframe when the driver will stand near the truck looking at your property, wherein you may run out and scream ‘wait!’. If unsuccessful, a delivery will be reattempted on an unspecified date within the next 8 months.”

Nothing is more frustrating than knowing you wrote something down, but not knowing where.

I just spilled my water bottle while in a tent and it feels much more like the latter in this example

Pessimistically, I don’t see how the system gets better without full collapse.

But wow imagine a few normal candidates running again. Imagine getting to vote for politics and not in a rule-breaking popularity contest.

Oh god oh no they’re doing the dead hang wrong

I was sure this was going to turn into mint slander by the end