It seems like some folks have a lot more towels than I do.

We’re here, frantically paddling to keep up.

Go back to Reddit with your overinflated hatred.

No way! It’s usually only the poorest who attend events like these!

Here’s a little known fact, gender neutral bathrooms are just bathrooms.

Darn it. I’m leaving it

I wonder who’s birthday?!

Can’t have sex with it either.

I went to the Whitehouse in 1989 as part of a high school band geek trip to play during Bush 41’s inauguration. I had a ridiculous “butterfly” knife and a wad of firecrackers in my jean jacket. There was no reason to have them. They were just in my jacket all the time. The dude at the metal detector took the knife, tossed the black cats into the trash can and waved me through. He returned the knife when we left.

I wonder if that would be newsworthy today.

Make a document with all of the passwords and save it to her desktop. Print it, too, and leave it in a drawer.

Neat! Thank you

I always go six minutes. Fight me.

What’s the Death Note?

Those bags cost money.

Ummm. No. These are made obvious for myriad reasons. Just stop. You’re staring at your phone all the time anyway. Let us do (what should be your job) our job to keep you safe.

Idiot

I’m here for the same reasons. I’m still figuring it out. So far so good though.

I’m mired in grief and loneliness. Where’s my massage? I guess I’m not eligible.

Hold me Fosters. Whatchdiss!

BAM! Herpes