Yeah, they had the happy days. At the cost of ours. They had everything, while ruining it for the future generations. And now they are complaining they aren’t getting enough money and respect. They aren’t even saying sorry or anything. I mean, sure, they can earn my respect but at least they have to do something first to earn it: fucking die already.

Yeah, that’s why I thought. Eeeeeeerm, never mind.

Ah, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but you’re wrong. It was her plan all along to sleep on your lap, she just tricked you into thinking “you trained her” to do so. Whenever you think you are smarter that your cat, you live in the illusion they created. They are superior beings. We are just humble servents and science experiments.

I need one! I have 3 kittens, they invented new keyboard shortcuts no one ever thought could be possible.

Why do I never meet people like you… Normally I get bashed for a typo but I would love to get free beer instead.

Talking about exerting control over impulses and the impulse to post this shit.

Beer is for pussies. Nothing beats the after taste of pure blue spirits. /jk

IPA stands for Indian Pale Ale. It was brewed with and excessive amount of hops, so the beer would survive the long trip to India without getting a bad taste (so the taste would turn good after the long trip in different climates). It turned out, some idiots (like me) like the weird taste of the pre-travel beer to India. Bitter sweet. Weissen was invented because a monk forgot a keg outside the monastery during winter which partially frozen, but tasted surprisingly good. Champagne was invented because a farmer wanted to speed up the process and tried the wine during the fermenting process instead of waiting and discovered it had bubbles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S_8TjQcpMo

A locally brewed IPA and a Juttertje (Dutch herbal bitters, a bit like Jägermeister but much better)

Or let you have a private island for you and all your friends

Also, nobody is gay on Venus because Venus doesn’t have rainbows.

Wait a minute, Venus sounds like the perfect place for conservatives! Elon, get your starship up and running and take all your buddies and musketeers to Venus! Please! I promise all liberals will stay here.

I’m 37 and have a long beard. I agree the bears helps convincing I’m old enough. But I remember I was offended I got asked my ID all the time. “Do I really look that young? When are people going to take me seriously as an adult!” Now that I’m never asked anymore, I feel old.

I was hoping Karens would stay on reddit, but…

They don’t even check my ID anymore 😢

Every movement with a gun sounds like there’s a loose screw in it (it always clicks). Also it usually has a clip of 300+ bullets.

Every mouse or keyboard input into a computer, every loading bar, every screen popping up makes screaching sounds. Except when having a failing DVD drive or broken hard disk I’ve never heard any computer making these sounds.

A secret tracking or listening device has a blinking red light and beeps.

Every car, always with airconditioning, drives with open windows because of the window reflections. Even during rain, extreme heat or highly contagious zombies trying to bite you through the open window.

If South Korea does this, he’ll tell his fat buddy Kim to send more shit balloons over the border.

My parents do this all the time. “Yeah, we just came back from the funeral, it was beautiful.” So apparently my aunt died. “Oh yeah, we thought it wouldn’t interest you”.

At the same time, they call me to tell me “So, Henry had to go to the hospital, he’s in a bad state. We though you’d want to know.” So apparently someone from their neighborhood who I never met or heard of has some bad health.

Yes, just like Americans they think it’s their country and the original inhabitants have no place in their country.

Police violence is something different then peaceful protesting. It turns into non-peaceful as soon as the police starts to use force without a proper cause. It’s called “abuse of power”. Cops love to get violent, especially when the protesters do not (so they won’t hit back).

Damn, you beat me to it.