No one should be making permanent, lasting decisions with potentially major impacts on society until after their brain has fully developed- so roughly around age 24.

By which I obviously mean no one under 24 should be allowed to have kids.

cue the Church’s self-righteous and unbearably self-serving indignation

Sit still? Be quiet? Fine.

Consciousness falls inward, a galactic space battle with sapient dinosaurs ensues

Better be sure. They can run at 25-30mph (faster than Usain Bolt)

Exactly this.

I’ve never understood recency bias in friendship. If we’re friends, what does it matter how long its been? Why does a relationship degrade simply because time has elapsed? Is your brain so fickle? Is there no expectation of continuity? Loyalty? Does a treasured item that’s been put in a drawer for a time lose its innate value?

In this regard, I prefer my brain to whatever the hell normative is; I don’t require constant or regular affirmation to remain steadfast in my beliefs.

Mmm. Yeah. Evolution. Human giraffe hybrid. Let’s see the branches of this tree.

Tree cicadas are essentially pissing all the time. Random spray around a tree? You just got R. Kelly’d by a cicada.

You’re just making an argument for better regulations and testing. Let’s start with elderly drivers, who are no longer physically and mentally capable of the maneuvering required to operate a vehicle at speed. Anyone over 65 should have to retest on a regular schedule. And when they fail, they lose their car too.

And all of this is an argument for effective and reliable PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.

Unfortunately, I think the answers are not things anyone should post online.

lol, ok.

It’s not called a skin flute for nothin

Absolutely not. Saw Florida off and let it sink.

Red states are the real welfare queens

Threats are assault. It’s self defense.

Yah, you scoop away. No slurping. No passing out in the bowl.

The fuck I do. That sounds like you’re just rationalizing your behavior.

By those terms, guess I’ll have to consider that I am not an adult, despite being an Oregon Trail millennial.

Is this not explicitly a massive violation of international law and war crime?

This would make an awesome tattoo

I don’t have a specific house in mind (but I’m thinking about X, or Y, or Z. I really like ______, because _________.

Listen I hate to pile on here, but your responses are lacking proactive elements that create interesting dialogue. And that can come across as very dull indeed.

Don’t sweat it though. Just consider adding more details without being asked. Adding 2-3 extra, unprompted tidbits in the first couple sentences when speaking to someone might be all you need to escape your conversational doldrums.

Lemme tell you what Lembas Toast is packin right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Elrond intake, bored over to 30, elven to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo jet 390 horsepower. We’re talkin some fuckin muscle.