• petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 month ago

    I would be extremely uncomfortable having a conversation about why people stay with their abusers with a kid.

    I… you don’t think they could learn from that?
    I mean, if it’s really just that it’s too much work to explain, why would it make you uncomfortable?

    to have to explain things like “the gray areas around coercion and nonconsensual sex” to someone else’s kid in a panel setting.

    Why would the panel people be the one’s doing this?

    • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Real question here, you ever worked with any children, or is this idealism? Because the idea that a child could have the relevant background to understand the nuanced motivations of characters in these situations is pretty… well depressing, if we assume that all children are going to have that background.

      As an illustrative example, children’s media. It isn’t simplistic because we’re condescending, it’s simplistic because its both to explain simple, fundemental concepts and becasue that’s what kids enjoy. They can relate to it, because it addresses concepts that they have the intellectual capacity and prerequisite understanding to be able to relate to it. This is childhood education at its heart.

      I don’t want to explain concpets that most actual adults cant understand, or even discuss in a mature way, to a child. People use “you’ll understand when your older” all too often as an excuse to brush aside questions they just don’t want to take the time to explain, but sometimes it’s because explaining “I hated myself so much I didn’t care what happened with my body which is why I have all these scars that spell out words you hopefully dont know yet on my chest/legs/back” isn’t something a child can understand. And thank fuck for that.

      • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 month ago

        I’ve been around enough to know they respect sometimes not being treated like children.

        I’m not saying that a child who’s not ready for something should be forced to deal with it. The role of a parent is to be a safety net they can run back to every time the world gets a little too scary—literally, there are studies about this. But for a child that is ready, who wants to know, what I mean to find out is why you would reject them.

        I don’t want to explain concpets that most actual adults cant understand, or even discuss in a mature way, to a child.

        See, the worry I have is that things like this are the reason those adults don’t understand it. In some respects, these adults are still children because they were never given the opportunity to learn.

        And it’s not like it can’t be useful to them. The fact that people can be abused, like certain aspects of it, then hate themselves for liking any part of it—I mean, I can think of a few “left alone with uncle” situations that really ring true here. If they can’t understand what they themselves are going through, I really don’t know what hope they have.

        Just to reiterate, I’m not saying we should gather up every 4-year-old and show them a snuff film. What I am saying is that, to some degree, growing up is a self-directed process, and when somebody is ready to tackle something, they should at least be given the chance to experiment with those ideas. Even for adults: only as much as they can handle, and a warm, comfortable room when they can’t anymore.