For context I’m not out to anyone and I still boymode (6months HRT)

I was at a party in a bar with friends 1 month ago, we took pictures together and posted them in a discord server, immediately a dude “V” asked if I was a real femboy. So now I have people asking me about it and I didn’t reply.

Yesterday I had an eyelid surgery and I sent a picture in the group with my eye patch just for fun and V immediately went “yeah you’re 100% a femboy I was certain of it” (in another language) and people AGREED???!!

I don’t know what to do, on one hand I want to be a woman not a boy or a man, but on the other, since I probably won’t pass until I get FFS I might as well say I am a femboy in the meantime, this way I can pretend to be a man and still wear what I want?

I’m not sure I would get treated better than if I was out as a trans woman. Feminine men get a lot of shit. But femboys seem to be trendy enough to be seen as weirdly cool. Idk…

    • Hugucinogens@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      0·
      3 months ago
      Relevant XKCD

      Experts overestimating the familiarity of the average person with what they know

      I have absolutely 0 idea, I don’t know how to name nearly any style whatsoever.

      I need at least a bit of plausible deniability, at least for going outside, because my town is pretty backwards.

      Even my favourite way of putting it up in the house alone, which is in a 10-15-degrees-above-horizontal ponytail, but sideways instead of backwards, which makes me feel really cute, is not really a style I can wear outside.

      I guess the feeling I’d like to get, is this, being cute and bubbly.

      Honestly, now that I think about it, my expectation to wear these outside before you even tell me, is dumb. Just gimme the cutest, girliest, bubbliest style(s?) you got, for exploration and euphoria.

      • kora@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        0·
        3 months ago

        🥺 i hope you are able to find a way out.

        You may be safe exploring some androgynous/unisex emo/punk expressions. The whole “Man with long hair” look is common enough that signaling a few “Hippie” or Hipster or maybe emo/punk themes (I.E. dark hair, dark clothes,or even monochromatic clothes, etc) should more than “cover” you.

        For something just around the house in private, I’d actually recommend going to a thrift shop and finding inexpensive clothing that fits you. Some thrifts won’t let you try things on, so when the “hold it up” method doesn’t help, coming with your correct measurements will make things go smoothly. Also, in the event your safety is coming into question, ditching your clothes when they’re thrifts at least reduces the financial trauma.

        Good luck, stay safe!