In clinical psychology the technique is called motivational interviewing, and the purpose is to help the person feel ready to make the change they need to by helping them plan out what they will need to change in their environment to make it happen. The trick is to avoid pressuring them in the exact moment and instead help them start imagining a more positive future as a very first baby step. You can do this by yourself right now if you want to, even if you know you’re not ready to do what you need to.
So, what do you need to happen in your life to be able to do that thing you know you need to do?
I agree, the rhetoric feels pretty iffy.
The framing of “you are an alcoholic, and that’s what you will always be, even long after you no longer have a drinking problem” always sat poorly with me. I generally have a super addictive personality, so whilst I’ve never had substance use issues that have required me quitting something entirely, but I do have to always be mindful because moderation just isn’t something that comes naturally to me. I’ve seen a lot of people like me who have issues with alcohol or other drugs who cycle round onto a new substance to abuse, and I think that the hard binary that sobriety culture presents exacerbates that.
Congrats on your progress. What you describe about the little disruptions (like not walking the dog) really resonates with me. Sometimes giving the arrangement of one’s life a little jiggle can be invaluable for solving inertia