Hating successful people is the best way to insure your own failure.

I have mysteriously vanished for like 2 or so months now (which is a good thing, please take breaks from the internet every once in a while), I don’t really remember NOT being kind here.

And this post reminds me of why Lemmy is a good place to begin with.

Most people know this in some capacity, but it’s not talked about enough: the shape of the platform massively shapes its culture. Every mechanism, intentional feature or not, is a factor in resulting user behavior and should be accounted for.

Reddit Karma was (shitty) reputation from the start, but Slashdot user IDs became one despite being mere sequential identifiers; negative user feedback such as downvotes can be harmful to communities (yet, users without an outlet may lash out in other ways e.g. reports); even how the platform communicates with users influences them; and so on.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be nice and incentivize others to do the same, but unless the system naturally leads to the desired behavior, you’ll have a bad time in the long term because building culture by interactions doesn’t scale. By the time you realize there’s a shift, it’s too late; interactions will compound and affect how the average user acts faster than you can try to course-correct.

I wish lemmy was more experimental, because by building a clone of reddit, we’ve copied too many of its faults. We’ve already got gatherings to complain about mods, and the one time devs considered changing a core component, discussion was killed by an onslaught of users. Problems with the current setup that were brought up then will likely never see that amount of people thinking about how to solve them.

Contrast with Mastodon, which gets crap for not being a more faithful copy of twitter, but their reasoning for not including quote-reblogs is understandable. They’re now putting a lot of thought into how to add them safely. Not ignoring functionality users want, but also not ignoring how it will affect culture, that’s compromise.

I’d like it if we could talk more about how our platforms work and, particularly, how they affect us, because that’s a big way we can build better platforms, right up there with being nice.

Saved because would be interesting to read what the people that want to set others property on fire and guillotine people, think that is actually being kind

Completely right OP, and this is worth repeating as MUCH as possible. More than almost any UX or intake changes, Fediverse will only grow if their experience of the community is good.

Unfortunately, some people have never caught a vibe in their life and it shows lol. A single person with a bad attitude can completely tank your experience in a small community, versus a 20,000 person subreddit where usernames are basically indistinguishable.

Love your take and call to action. Appreciate it :) and I’m not surprised it’s coming from you either :)

ngl this is such a toxic community. The Nazi thing is definitely part of the problem – we live in an age of “soft fascism” so of course we have our fists up and we see nazis everywhere. Honestly I think most of the nazis are on twitter or truth social though, they don’t come to lemmy so much. Hmm, don’t assume that someone espousing an (1) conservative-looking belief is a nazi maybe?

Well, yeah, be kind and post!

OP simply asks people to be kind, People proceed to tear each other apart…

OP now knows how Jesus felt 🤣

Getting better at communication takes time and practice. Depending on where someone is in that journey, a post like this can make a big difference. And I think we can all use a reminder to be kind every so often. So, thanks for taking the time to write this out

This sounds dumb.

• Ask people what they think, and why

Why thats none of my business? Presumptuous to think someone should submit themselves to your inquiries.

• Ask yourself if there’s something nice you can say

Better yet, ask someone else because you can’t be trusted, obviously.

There was a movement in the blogging community ~15 years ago to leave positive comments on posts you like. It was an approach to conquer negative comments and a general destructive nature of online conversations. I still do it to this day. If I really like something or appreciate someone’s work, I leave a nice comment.

I love this.

I think it’s important to say this doesn’t mean pretending you like or agree with something you don’t like or agree with.

But when you do see something you like or agree with, drop a compliment. Compliments make places better!

So I can’t be myself?

One my favorite ways to summarize this kind of thinking is with the Bill & Ted quote “Be Excellent To Each Other, and Party On Dudes” (mostly the first half applies to this post though). The part that applies to this post, Keanu Reeves said he interprets as follows:

I think that the sentiment of it is really just be the best person, the best human being you can be, and if you do that, then you can party on and live life to the fullest, but you’re gonna be safe… You’re going to be supported, you’re going to get the gift of giving, you’re going to get the gift of receiving, you’re going to get to the gift of sharing. We’re all just some humans on a rock in space, and so it’s kinda nice to kind of promote that idea of ‘give a little, get a lot’, kind of bring it in for a group hug."