This is an opinion piece by the democratically elected president of Niger.

  • Derin@lemmy.beru.coOP
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    1 year ago

    That’s right motherfucker, I’m responding

    Look, I would have preferred actual articles and not videos, but videos are better than nothing - so, fuck it, I guess I have nothing better than to watch them and respond. (I will not be combing through the entire channel links, that’s no different than linking an entire newspaper and demanding I read every article, you intellectually dishonest asshat) (no, that wasn’t unwarranted, you know what you did)

    Let’s start with the first video, from “Arise News” - a random Youtube channel. The unnamed host, in front of a poorly edited green screen, starts the segment off by informing us that the Niger military had no choice but to depose the democratically elected president in Niger to protect its democracy. Again, I would have expected a statement as to why the democratically elected president is not to be trusted - anything, really, relating to the election process, but that does not happen; instead, two sentences are uttered before our first guest is ushered on screen - a member of the “Anti-Terrorism Accredidation Board”, a random West Virginian “organization” (air-quotes intentional) with a fucking random website-builder site (see it yourself: https://atabinfo.com/ ), who seem to have given themselves a name in order to train hapless Africans in “security and defense” - David Otto. It is not possible to find information relating to these people, as they are random individuals making up titles to sound legitimate. But, seriously @monobot, thank you for the fucking sources. (Derin’s note: I got the guy’s Linkedin, will be mentioned again below)

    The host and his random guest start talking about a “coup pandemic” (great choice of words). The guest seems to struggle with the English language as they force out a slurry of words relating to the coup, and why the military “had” to implement it. I say “had” in air quotes as no reason or rationale is provided, beyond a broken word salad of serious-sounding words, reminiscent of Nigerian e-mail scams. I don’t want to be called out as someone who didn’t follow up on your sources, so here’s the word salad transcribed verbatim:

    Bullshit_african_word_salad_fuck_you_goddamn_tankies.txt:

    PRIME TIME

    Now the West African regional BLOC (ECOWAS) have sent a delegation to Niger to negotiate with coup leaders. Defense chiefs for the regional block have met here in Abuja for an extraordinary military intervention citing it as a last resort. Now ECOWAS has imposed sanctions on Niger and says it can authorize the use of force if President Mohamed Bazoum is not reinstated.

    (…) events that transpired in one of our countries has reverberated across our borders affecting us all; the recent coup d’etat in the Republic of Niger is one event that calls for our collective attention and a united response. We must face the challenges of restoring democratic governance in Niger head-on, drawn on our shared experiences, wisdom, and collective resolve.

    • ENTER RANDOM GUY WITH SHIT MICROPHONE -

    (…) if we cannot (goi?) a peaceful resolution (soufredite?) that is our preferred option. But, we have to prepare for all eventualities. …and, excellencies, you are here for the final eventuality: that last resort that (replandie?) for a possible intervention to restore constitutional order.

    HOST

    To help make sense of all that, I am joined by an international security analyst who’s a Certified Anti-Terrorism Specialist (Derin’s note: the fuck does this mean, what are you people smoking?) and is, uh, the African representative (dn: ooh) of the Global Anti-Terrorism Accreditation Board (dn: the fuck is this? Are you talking about this site? https://atabinfo.com/ They literally have call of duty screenshots on their home page holy fucking shit are you people serious?) David Otto (dn: marked as “self-employed” on Linkedin, check him out for yourself: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidottoendeley/ ). Good to see you David and thanks for your time.

    David (serious guy): Thank you.

    Host: Well, not a good time for many, uh living in the subcontinent asking what exactly is happening when you hear ECOWAS it reminds you of quite a number of things (dn: …okay?) but quickly make sense of what has happened at the moment - uh - 15 countries within ECOWAS - uh - 5 already - on the military rule, and 10 meeting here in Abuja.

    David: Well, I think we’re experiencing a coup pandemic.

    Host: A coup pandemic?

    David: Yes, and this is one of the reasons (dn: what are the other reasons, david? Why is this a reason?) ECOWAS has to do those two things. One: it has to institute a ‘practive’ (sic) preventative measure - um - and then it has to be had, you know, in terms of how it approaches - um - countries that are experiencing a coup. What is happening in the region will further destabilize the entire West, but also Central, African region if nothing is done. What we’ve seen, effectively, is that - you know - countries that have been - you know, um - run by - you know, um - military juntas - for example Mali, Burkina Faso, Guinea - they tend to support countries uh so um juntas that are imagined (sic) which sends a very strong message that - um - you know that anyone who wants to carry out a military coup should expect support from those who have been successful. So I think this is the position that ECOWAS has been faced with.

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    Dude, I’m 25% of the way through your first video and the shit is literally unintelligible. No points are being made, people are trying to come off as serious while using language a fourth grader would use while trying to LARP as a UN official.

    David, m’boy, goes on to talk about ECOWAS’ ultimatum, what happens if ECOWAS will send troops to Niger, and a bunch of word salad bullshit around coups.

    The entire video means nothing, says nothing, and does not - in any way - provide justification for your initial point about the president’s status as an allegedly undemocratically elected president.

    But thanks for wasting my time, schmuck.

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    (CONTINUED IN COMMENT BELOW)

    Edit: Edited for formatting.

    • Derin@lemmy.beru.coOP
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      1 year ago

      Let’s move on to your second video, you damned cretin. (I’m angry because it’s 4 am and this is what I’m doing - I’m trying to give you the benefit of the goddamn doubt and it’s becoming increasingly evident that I’m wasting my time. Forgive the vitriol in my voice, but I’m genuinely furious at myself for combing through your bullshit.)

      Oh, it’s Arise News again! Oh joy.

      Mali and Burkino Faso have distanced themselves from an ECOWAS resolution to pursue military action against the Niger republic’s “new” military rulers if they fail to restore constitutional order after a 7-day deadline. Seems reasonable.

      Dr. Victor Okhai joins to talk about the issue.

      Everyone’s happy to have him.

      Arise news says a bunch of people gathered for a mass rally (thanks Arise, would have appreciated footage, but I guess your green screen of random faces behind your hosts is more important - tim_and_eric_great_job.avi)

      Okhai starts his response. Apparently the president, Bazoum, said “No, don’t go after the terrorists”, because the French told him not to. Oh man, the French love terrorists y’all. They just want a weak Africa. Thanks, Okhai.

      “So, it therefore means that quite a few of the democratically elected presidents are propped up by Western powers; not in the interest of the people, but the interests of their masters” “The people say enough is enough”

      Motherfucker who? WHO? Who is fucking saying this?

      “They just want the Uranium”

      “When the coup took place, why did the people not protest? They were rejoicing!”

      “What happens when the administration continues to impose themselves upon the people, using the military to quell rebellion?”

      Motherfucker, who instituted the coup? If you think the democratic election was flawed, make goddamn points that prove your assertions. They literally just said “yeah, fuck these people” and attacked them.

      And, no, I’m not defending France - or their “love for Uranium”, here. I’m repeating my initial request: show me anything that purports the democratically elected leader of Niger was anything but. Fucking anything, you damned shit heels.

      It’s 4:10 goddamn am. I need to be in bed.

      Let’s continue…

      Ol’ Okhai waves his hands and says “and you know elections and they were manipulated and things like that”… cool, thanks man. No, really, thanks. Also, my mother is a unicorn and my father was a rainbow and I’m a goddamn Lucky Charm. Words exist, they have no meaning, and I can use them to murder people. Great job, you fucking cretin.

      Then the hosts go on to say that the “people are waving Russian flags” and that “they believe the Wagner group would be better fighters of (Boko Haram and other insurgents)(…)”

      …are you fucking kidding me? Like, it’s literally 3 people pretending to have a debate, telling us how “the people” love Russia and want Russia to help them because… what? Bad elections?

      Motherfucker, point me to the goddamn ballot boxes and tell me why you think the votes are invalid. It’s not fucking hard. I hate my current leader, but I know he was democratically elected so I live with it - because the majority fucking voted for him.

      Holy fucking shit. Goddamn Tankies.

      Okay, I’m ending video 2 here because I’m not listening to any more Kremlin propaganda, let’s move on to video 3.

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      The third video is a Youtube news commentary channel. I’m not being sarcastic when I say: sure.

      The opposition party in Nigeria is contesting its election results. Citizens, according to this channel, are accusing the process of technical issues and corruption. The opposition party accuses the victors of “violence, voter intimidation, and suppression.” Serious allegations.

      Calls for a new vote are rejected by the independent electoral commission, claiming that the election process was “free. fair, and credible”. Things are heating up.

      However, “various observers (including the European Commission) have criticized the election for lack of transparency.” How transparent the election was is left to you, and no assertion is made - almost like this random YouTube channel is delivering actual news, holy shit. A red herring in OP’s response? My god. (Edit 2: Yes, to be clear, this channel is delivering actual news and feels like a breath of fresh air after the last two links, which were clearly propaganda)

      The opposition party states they intend to challenge the election results (dn: if it’s legal, go for it my dudes). They then implore people to be calm and wait and see. Seems fucking democratic to me.

      Some foreign institutes weigh in with their negative views.

      This was back in March. It’s August. Great. Thanks for the relevant link. I’ll have to fucking dig further into Nigeria’s elections now. Goddamn it you fucking asshole.

      Here’s the Wikipedia article. Their suits were dropped, Tinubu wins. Why did I have to watch that video?

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      TL fucking DR:

      • OP said nothing
      • OP means nothing
      • Fuck me
      • Fuck my time
      • This is why I hate Tankies
      • It’s 4:32 am and time for bed; OP I hate you so much