I’ve had female friends and I’ve had male friends but for some reason I’ve noticed that females are more intimate and close to there friends then males are. Is this true for all male friends?
You must log in or # to comment.
I try to be that open with my good dude friends, but I only have a couple I’d consider good. Most are superficial friendships based on a single common interest.
My friends’ humour is extremely homoerotic and we constantly simulate gay sex (as a joke)
You tell yourself that
Same here. But I wouldn’t call that intimacy in the same sense as he was referring to in females. Me and my boys don’t cuddle
Oh we also cuddle all the time and then someone tries sucking someone’s dick (cause it’s funny)
Women being intimate openly remains more socially acceptable than men doing it, at least presumed heterosexual men.
I have noticed a shift in the last five years and more of the (heterosexual) men in my social circles have openly hugged me more enthusiastically than they used to.
I have become more comfortable being affectionate in public in general, but that’s about becoming more comfortable with myself, rather than a matter of what’s assumed to be socially acceptable of the various genders. I’m definitely falling into the category of life’s too short and I’ll be dead sooner than I’d like to admit, so here I am, motherfuckers. Deal with it.
I’m (m) somewhat “intimate” with my friends I’ll hug and stuff. But I’ll play it off as a joke half the time depending on who. I was fortunate enough to have made really great friends in high-school that I can be more friendly and am secure enough that if anyone said anything it wouldn’t phase me
If not shamed then sometimes more intimate
No. Next question.
What does the moon taste like?
Creme Cheese. Next Question.
do you think my cat is cute?
Yes, cats are by definition cute. Next question.
Only on Tuesdays. Next question.
I think it would be hard to nail down the overall demeanor. Of course there’s the stereotype that men are closed up emotionally and sometimes male toxicity enforces that, but I think it really just comes down to how people develop emotionally and if they feel secure to trust others with those emotions.
Well, I hug friends to greet and show compassion. But it doesn’t really change anything, in terms of closeness or intimacy for me. Maybe others feel like that too and don’t really engage in physical intimacy. I do hug female friends in comfort too, but that’s very awkward for me. It seems to help them though.
I feel better when my personal space is respected, I don’t really want hugs when I’m feeling down. I do like hugs when I’m feeling comfortable though.
40 year old male here. My friends and I will hug each other if we feel someone needs a hug.
Just last week I was in a bad mental state and my friend came and picked me up to get get me out the house and meet other friends and then discuss what was up with me and told me to reach out more when feeling down.
Some are, I’m not a man but I have male friends and we’re very intimate and close, hug and cuddle each other, express our affection and our emotions openly
Ofc I have had the “bro” type of male friends, where it seems they feel like we can’t do that kind of stuff even if we do rly care for each other :(
It’s much better in queer and queer-friendly spaces ime
Of course, hugging, touching, sensitive subjects. ima give a homie a kiss if we’re hyped up enough.
yes, we’re not all incels and taters and right wing wannabe strong men
maybe 100+ years ago before gay panic really got going.
I’d wager the opposite. I’d say men hug more now.
Source: am secretly a Highlander
I’m in my thirties and when I compare my friendships to my wife’s, I must say that women are more intimate with each other. They hug and cuddle. My friends and I don’t really do that. I only hug my friends when I feel they need it.
Females
I, for the life of me, can’t understand why everyone is so concerned about the word.
When I say “male”, no one bats an eye. Should I say “female”, hell breaks loose.
The word “female” exists along with “male”, just the same way “women” exists along with “men”. It’s just an adjective form. There’s no need to overcomplicate it, and no inherent intent to do whatever bad you assume when someone says it.
There are people that use females in all contexts. They use it when women would work better. They mix it with *men". They do not use it in the same context that they would use male. And they use it in a derogatory way.
Sad to know it’s happening. Though I must assume it’s mostly part of cringey right-wing/incel culture along the lines of “your body, my choice” etc. Do you think it’s common enough around Lemmy to justify policing of a very regular word? Or do you think it may serve as a common enough trigger?
You gets it
Yet tbf, people usually say that’s a problem when it’s used alone as in “females and men” because “nobody says ‘males,’” but here she says “females and males.”
Personally, if I write a post like this I’d write “women and males” even though it’s clunky and awkward, just so the sanctimonious crowd doesn’t have shit to say, but she did the thing that people say is fine to do and yet still gets accused of being a ferengi. I know it’s exciting to feel like you’re better than someone and jump to correcting their behavior but it’s possible we’re jumping the shark here.
Edit: btw, as per OP’s post history, she’s a “23yo female with a 76 IQ.” Lay off man, jeez!
I’m not in the habit of stalking a poster’s history before making a reply. But I looked at OPs profile to confirm what you said. They posted that they want to speak better. They edited the post to say girls instead of females. We can get into the problem of referring to adult women as girls but for now I’ll just accept that they saw that there was a need to use anything other than female as a win.
Tbh I’m not in that habit either, I had wrote “he” but after I posted I caught the :3 in her uname, so I checked and came back and corrected it. Also, I had a feeling from the writing style she may have been ESL which I was going to mention too if so, but yeah both those reasons are why I checked this time.
As to the rest of it, she’s already corrected you that she did not edit the “females” out so I don’t have to mention it. Instead I’ll mention that A) You had no knowledge of her will to speak better before you were rude to her about her word choice, so you can’t claim you were “just trying to help bro” or anything like that, B) if you were trying to “help her speak better” being a dick about it isn’t the best way to go. Hell even if you’re trying to police a woman on how she speaks about women because you think how she does it is immoral, being nice is a much more effective strategy, “catch more flies with honey” as it were (but for fruit flies use vinegar.)
“They edited the post to say girls instead of females.”
I didn’t do that
